Written while not under the influence of sugar, carbs, alcohol or anything else delicious that is now restricted since it is the new year and I am on a diet.

I have ten blog drafts waiting to be edited. Or discarded.

I have been writing and trying to create something of value, but I don't feel like any of it is worthy of being read.

However, I wanted my readers, (all of six of you), to know that I am alive.

It's been almost two weeks since my last blog post and it has taken me this long to recover from our holiday season of overindulgence. And it was ohhhh so worth it.

Creamy coffees, Swedish pancakes with maple syrup, brown sugar glazed salmon, lemon drops, roasted turkey, mashed potatoes made with cream cheese, peppermint bark, buttered peas, buttered everything! OMG it was spectacular.

But then.

Reality hit. Our pants were feeling tight, and so was our budget. Richard and I decided it was time to get back to eating healthier and watching our spending. Diets aren't fun, and they are doubly un-fun when your debit card goes on a diet too.

This is where we are now though, January 2011. Looking to make positive changes in our lives.

Isn't that how we always start the new year? In the spirit of bettering ourselves, I thought I would share with all of you some of my goals for 2011:

*     *     *

Read the Bible in one year - When I was about nine years old I read my children's Bible, which is like 500 pages, so I mean, that's quite an accomplishment for a child. But, I have never read the entire Bible, all the way through. I decided that it is something I need to do in my life, thus I have set out on my journey to read the Bible, beginning to end within this year. The funny thing is, I thought it would feel like a chore, but I am genuinely enjoying it and I look forward to my nightly readings. Husband has joined me in this too, and the nights he is home we read out loud with each other. It's become a really fun activity for us to share, and best of all, I'm only 28 chapters in and have already learned so many things that I never knew before. Now I am just wondering why it took me 26 years to get my act together, and start reading the most important book on earth on a regular basis!

Memorize one Bible verse every week - This one goes hand in hand with my first goal. I figured since I am reading the Bible, I might as well start committing some passages to memory.

Get paid for at least one writing job - So in the last seven months I started my blog, and became a contributing writer for The Smartly. This is all great experience for me and I love it...but would really love to branch out a bit and find some writing jobs that pay in actual money, in addition to the satisfaction I get from writing.

Write at least two blogs a week - Ok. FAIL. I know, I already messed up on this, the first week of the new year, but I am totally focused now and will work hard to keep to this goal.

Have Binker potty-trained by June 30th - This is a fluid goal for me. I would love to have him potty-trained by this date, but I know that potty training is something that cannot be rushed or forced, so if this date comes and goes, and he is still in diapers, then I am cool with that.

Date nights four times a month - Our lives are craaaaazy, yo! Between Husband's ever-changing work schedule, the kids, the housework, my writing, Husband's college classes and all the other millions of things that fill up our days, it's hard to get that essential "couple time". We're committed to setting aside time though, to focus on each other and our relationship. Whether that means dressing up and going out to dinner or putting the kids to bed early and just renting a movie doesn't matter, we just like to hang out together and talk about the two of us and how we're doing. In reality we do this a lot more often than once a week, but writing it down as a goal just reminds me to always keep our marriage the priority. 

Mommy and me dates with Binker and Bug four times a year - I get to hang out with the two coolest little dudes every day, but they are each so different and unique, so I like to do "mommy and me days" with each one individually, where we go do a fun activity and maybe go out to lunch. Basically, that kid gets to pretend to be an only child for a few hours and have mommy's full attention. What child doesn't love that? Plus, it is really fun for me to be able to have one-on-one time with each of my sons, and really see what's new with them and what they're doing now.

Read with the boys for a total of 30 minutes every day - Both Binker and Bug love books, and I want to foster that love for reading more and more as they grow. I don't time us or anything, but I just aim to sit and read with them as much as I can throughout the day - whenever they bring a book to me, or they seem bored, or I have a few extra minutes.

*     *     *

So there you have it, some of my goals for 2011. I would love to hear some of yours - please feel free to share in the comments section for all to see. Until next time, Happy New Year! 

And to my fellow New Year dieters - Ughhh, here's to another day of being "healthy" or whatever.

I Think Parents Traveling with Children Should Get Complimentary Alcohol on Airplanes

Sigh.

I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm on edge.

Can you guess what I'm doing today?

Flying. With toddlers.

My mind is flooded with images of luggage falling all over the place, the kids screaming and wiggling to get out of their strollers, angry looks from annoyed strangers, and TSA who want to basically molest me in their effort to keep our skies safer.

Will I make it through today?

To top it off, I have been dealing with some weird body temperature issues this past week. I have been so freaking hot for no reason. It doesn't matter where we are, or what I'm doing. It just comes and goes without warning, and it immediately causes me to break out into a sweat. 

I hate being hot. HATE IT. 

I don't look good when I'm hot. I get shiny and puffy, and it makes me really cranky. So now I keep wondering if I am going to have a hot flash at the airport, while carting around luggage and children, and I will be dripping with sweat and snapping at the slightest things, all because my internal barometer is reading 9500 freaking degrees.

Because of all these issues, I have been going into our bedroom every five minutes to announce to Richard that I have a new "battle plan" for tomorrow. God love him, he is one patient man. He listens quietly and nods his head yes, even though he has heard my detailed strategy a million times already, and every time I go over it again I can see his stress level rising. He's scared too. But he's being the strong one. 

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't shut up. I hear myself talking, and in my head I'm like, KELLYN STOP TALKING YOU SOUND LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. But I can't. I just can't stop. 

*       *       *       *       *

Oh, and baby? I was thinking maybe I could drive to the airport tomorrow. I know I am going to be on edge and stressed to begin with, and sometimes when I am stressed I have a tendency to get stressed out even more by your driving, so I think this would be a way for us to avoid an unnecessary conflict.

What? You think I'm a bad driver?

No, no no. You're missing the point. Just say you'll let me drive.

*       *       *       *       *

He even watched the boys today so I could run to Old Navy. I was on a mission to find a "flying outfit". I would prefer to wear my new favorite Seven jeans, (that I bought at 40% off OMG!), but the thing that makes them so cute - the fact that they are adorned with gemstones - is exactly why I cannot wear them. They would set off every alarm, bell and whistle that airport security has in place. 

Next thing you know I would be taken to some back room, stripped from the waist down as the TSA ran my jeans through an X-Ray machine, and interrogated me about that trip I took to Mexico five years ago, and Richard would be on the other side of the door, with two hungry, screaming, poopy toddlers, yelling at me about why in God's name did I wear bedazzled pants to the airport?!

So as you can imagine, I was hoping to avoid all that. 

I went in search of some stretchy, comfy pants with no buttons, metal, zippers, nothing. I eventually found some yoga-type pants, and while not particularly cute, they will do the job. 

So this is where we're at. T-minus 20 hours until our plane leaves the ground that I so enjoy having my feet firmly planted on. But I am already too stressed about traveling with kids as it is, that I'm not even going to allow myself to start worrying about the plane crashing. I just can't. This week has already caused  me more than enough gray hairs, I'm sure.

Bottom line? Traveling with little kids SUCKS. There's no way around it. Richard was all, "Let's just drive to Illinois".

HA.

I told him he better hop off the crazy train because that would never be happening. 

A twenty-plus hour car ride, through the snow, and over several mountain passes with a one and two year old? No thanks. 

I guess I will settle for outrageous baggage fees, let a TSA employee get to second-base with me, and then spend three hours in a compact fuselage, squeezed so close to the stranger next to me that our elbows and knees keep awkwardly rubbing together.

I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge. I was stressed last year too, and once we got to Illinois we all had the best trip with Richard's extended family in a beautiful white Christmas. I am looking forward to another fun and memorable year. 

But this whole traveling process? Has turned me into a raving lunatic.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Addict

So Richard decided to join Facebook this past week.

Which was great. For about five minutes. Then he discovered Facebook games, and that was all he cared about.

*    *    *    *    *

Richard, you should comment on my status.

Sure, sure, I will, but I am advancing my civilization right now. This game is SO awesome you have to play it.

Um, I don't play Facebook games. Why don't you talk to someone on Facebook? That's why most people have Facebook - it's a social network. We socialize. Not play games.

*    *    *    *    *

Aside from the occasional time-killer here and there, I've never been into Facebook games. Earlier this year, it seemed like most of my friends were crazy about them, and every day my Facebook account was flooded with invites to harvest a field in Farmville,  or join someone's Mafia, or help a friend bake a billion cupcakes in Cafe World. 

It just wasn't my thing, and I ignored all of them. I didn't get what was so enticing about a fake farm, or a fake mafia or fake cupcakes - Hello! That is just plain wrong. If I am going to help you bake cupcakes I better get to freaking eat one at the end of all that work.

But it seemed as though my friends had stopped playing their games. Or perhaps they just realized I wasn't going to assist them. In any case, I had stopped getting those invites.

Until Richard joined Facebook.

All the sudden I was once again being bombarded by these invites to help him build his ancient civilization in City of Wonder. But I couldn't simply hit "Ignore", because two seconds later Richard would come hound me about it in person. There was no escape!

*    *    *    *    *

Listen Richard, I can't help you with your game. I have a reputation to uphold.

On Facebook?

Yes.

What does that even mean?

It means I don't play Facebook games, okay?

*    *    *    *    *

And I was all snooty and so above any of that game-playing.

He begged me to play his game - to just try it. I finally caved and agreed I would give it a try the next day while he had duty. 

After I fed the boys their breakfast that morning I remembered my promise, and decided to take a quick look at the game before showering and starting on the laundry and my long list of chores for the day. 

Next thing I know, it's FIVE HOURS LATER, I'm still in pajamas, my hair is greasy from lack of shower, our laundry hasn't been touched, my mascara from the day before is smudged under my eyes and I can't leave my computer - not for more than two minutes - or my civilization might fall into ruin!

I. Was. Addicted.

I spent $25 dollars of REAL MONEY on this game buying myself gold - FAKE gold. 

Real money for fake gold. 

On what planet does that make sense?? And yet, I couldn't stop myself. I had to increase my monies.

Richard called me in the evening to discuss the game. I told him how irritated I was at him for getting me so addicted to this dumb game that I could not quit playing.

*    *    *    *    *

You're my husband! You're not supposed to get me hooked on bad things like this.

I know! It's super fun, right? I just hope you're remembering to feed the kids, hahaha...

What kids.

*    *    *    *    *

Don't worry, the children got dinner...eventually. WHAT!

Tomorrow we are planning to take the kids to the park, far far away from any computers or ancient civilizations. If that doesn't do the trick, you may see me wind up on "Intervention", eyes bloodshot, with week-old Cheetos stuck in my ratted hair. 

OMG someone stop me please.

Everybody Was Kung Fu Kissing

A little background, first:

While on deployment, Richard would kill time by practicing Jujitsu, (which, according to Google can also be spelled no less than a thousand other ways, so if you were going to correct me on the spelling, don't bother. I just picked the one I liked best). Anyways, he got really into this form of martial arts. Every time he would email me he'd tell me about the latest move he learned or how he totally almost made a guy pass out that day.

So there we were on Friday night. We'd had a long, busy day and I was cuddled up in our comfy bed, with my soft fleece pajamas on, eating from my bowl of ice cream and watching a movie.

*    *    *    *    *

Kellyn! Come over here for a second, I want to show you some of my Jujitsu moves.

No thanks.

No, come on Kellyn, it will only take a minute.

I'm good.

Seriously, you need to learn this stuff, it is good for self defense. It will help you in case anyone ever tries to attack you.

Actually I have a better plan, I will just stay away from walking down dark alleys at three in the morning, and sleep with Captain Kirk next to the bed.

Noooo, Kellyn please come here? I really want to teach you this.

(Sigh) Fine.

Awesome! Ok, so you lay down on the ground and I will get on top of you like I am going to attack you.

Don't hurt me, I bruise easy.

I'm not actually going to attack you. All right, now you need to wrap your arms around my head like this...

Wow, our carpet is filthy! I gotta remember to vacuum in here tomorrow.

Kellyn! Focus! Now wrap your legs around my back and lock your ankles together.

This is boring.

Look, this is really easy, just pay attention okay? This is important stuff you need to know. Now interlock your fingers and put your arms around my neck.

Like this?

No, no! You're not doing it right, lock your fingers together really tight so I can't break through.

Don't yell at me!

I'm not yelling - Ughh - Okay, let's switch positions so I can show you what I mean. I will lay down and you get on top of me like you're going to attack me.

Fine.

Okay, now pretend like you're going to punch me and I will stop you. (Richard does some of his Jujitsu magic).

I can't move.

Exactly! See what I'm doing? Now do you get what I was trying to show you? You need to have your hands locked together really tight so they can't be pulled apart.

(I lean my face toward Richard's and give him an Eskimo Kiss).

What are you doing.

Eskimo Kisses! (I do it again).

Dah! Stop that! You need to pay attention.

Is this what you guys did on the ship? When you pinned one another down would you Eskimo Kiss?

No. That would make us gay.

Well, no offense, but it seems to me that a bunch of grown men pinning each other down and straddling one another is a little gay.

Okay, you ruined it. Never mind.

*    *    *    *    *

And that was the end of my self-defense lesson. 

Except that now I am super paranoid that I AM going to be attacked and I will be kicking myself for not paying more attention. But at this point I don't think Mr. "I Hate Eskimo Kisses" is willing to teach me again. 

Good thing there is always Captain Kirk to protect me.

He's Home

203 days...all led up to this family's reunion.

There are half-empty cups and used plates on every surface in the house.

His dirty clothes cover the floor of our bedroom.

I have to share the bathroom sink once again.

And I can't wipe this smile off my face.

While Richard was on deployment, there were nights I would dream he was home, and I would wake up suddenly, and look over to the other side of the bed, only to see an empty space and an untouched pillow. Those were the worst moments.

Now, every day I feel like I need to pinch myself. Having him home is a dream come true, and there is such a sense of security and fulfillment having him back.

In a way, it almost seems like he never even left; we've just picked up right where we left off back on May 4th. 

My husband, my friend, my heart. He's home.

Flashback Friday - Last Picture

These were the last two photos taken before Richard left. We have several days to go still, but I am already excited about the first picture I will get to take of him once he is home again.

Looking Back

When I think back to the beginning of this deployment, I had a lot of apprehension. I didn't quite know what to expect or how it would be. I put on a brave face, I told Richard we would be fine, I tried to act like six months would fly by. 

But secretly, I was scared. 

I was scared of those early days, right after his departure when the mountain of separation that stood before us would be at its highest, and seem impossible to tackle. I was scared of the days that would seem never-ending. I was scared of all the hours I was going to have to live and be present and productive, without Richard here.

I was also unsure of how the boys would react to him being gone. They're still young, and toddlers - thankfully - live in the present. But then I also feared that they would forget him altogether, something I was determined not to let happen.

There were some days during these past almost six months that I thought would do me in. They were hard, but I have to say that, surprisingly, this time has gone pretty quickly. I am glad that the boys have done well, even without their Dad physically being with us. And I am, of course, so grateful and lucky to have such wonderful family and friends who saved me during the times I thought the loneliness would do me in.

I also owe my thanks to Facebook and, well, the internet as a whole, since it is a great source of distraction and a good time-killer.

My husband is a rock star in my eyes for completing this deployment. His hard work and motivation are to be admired. His chosen career means that sometimes he has to spend time away from us, but we never stop loving him, or keeping him in our thoughts. And, I believe that our relationship grows stronger with each separation. Near or far, Richard remains my best friend and a wonderful father to our sons. No distance or time apart could change that.

10 Reasons Why I Love the Navy

In light of recent circumstances, with Richard's deployment being extended, and our Hawaii vacation being canceled, I think it could be very easy for me to be upset and disappointed. 

But, I'm not.

I've had time to think everything over and I really think it is for the best. It may not be what we had planned, or what we originally wanted, but I know that Richard is serving a great purpose for our country, and that God is in charge of all things...so really, who I am to argue with our Heavenly Father or America?

I know better than to even go there.

Instead, I decided I would make a list of all the reasons I am grateful to the Navy.

1) The Healthcare. 

     This would be reason enough, in my mind, to love the Navy. When I had Jacob, all we had to pay was $30, and that was only because I had an epidural. Richard teased me that it would have been free if I hadn't opted for the pain meds. And when we had Ryan? I got a glimpse of what it cost for him to stay in the NICU for five days: over $20,000 dollars. And that didn't even include the cost of labor and delivery, which was in the thousands as well. 

    We didn't pay a penny.

    If not for the Navy's amazing healthcare that they offer, not only would we still be in debt from those bills I am certain, but it also would have prevented us from taking on any additional financial burden, like buying our van which has been such an asset, and it most definitely would have meant no more children for us. Whether or not we have another child remains to be seen, but the option to have another would not even exist with a financial burden such as that. And I'm not even going to try to imagine the kind of stress we would be under, attempting to pay off those bills.

2) Job Security.

    With the current economic times that we are in, I thank God every day that my husband works at a job where he cannot be fired. Sure, he also can't walk in and give his two-week's notice, but job security is invaluable these days. Also, Richard is up for promotions fairly often, which include pay raises - another nice benefit.

3) College.

    Thanks to the Navy, my husband is finishing his college degree - for free. How many people would love to say they are getting a free college education? He is tremendously lucky. Also, thanks to the G.I. Bill, when our kids are college-age, one of them will be able to attend college for very little cost as well.

4) Leave.

     Sure, the military might be picky about when Richard actually gets to use it, but he gets 30 days of leave a year. Pretty nice, in my opinion.

5) Adventure.

    Growing up, we never stayed in one town for longer than a few years, and because of this, I love change. I look forward to the different places the Navy will take us. If we don't like someplace, the good news is we get to move four years later. I think we are so lucky to get to move around our country, and possibly even the world. How many people live in the same place for decades, and would give anything for the chance to live and see other places - but never get to? Of course, moving is always an adjustment, but we are the lucky ones, in my mind. Plus, being in the Navy means that wherever we are based will be near the ocean - you can't go wrong with that. You know it's going to be someplace beautiful.

6) The uniform.

    Ladies? Can I get an amen? Navy uniform...Yum.

7) Homecoming Day.

    Deployment is not very much fun...although I do get the bed to myself, I get to control the remote, and basically go without putting on make up or worrying about shaving for six months. But with every Deployment, there is always a Homecoming Day. And, as my friend Kathy said to me, Homecoming Day is more exciting than your wedding day. It really is!

8) Military Discount.

    I'm not gonna complain if a store wants to give me 10% off!

9) Military ID.

    Ladies, if you don't like the photo on your driver's license, this is a second chance for you to get it right.

10) The pride.

    I am filled with such pride when I get to tell people my husband is in the Navy. I really am at a loss for words here. He works so hard, sacrifices so much, and never complains. He is my hero in more ways than one.

So, thank you, U.S. Navy, for all that you do. Sometimes it can be a love/hate relationship, but you honestly do a great job of taking care of my husband and our family. And really, is there any better organization one can be associated with?

Homecoming King

Before I had kids and became a stay at home mom, I worked as the marketing assistant for the Everett Mall. 

It was pretty much the coolest job you could possibly imagine. 

Most of my days were spent laughing with coworkers, writing, eating Mexican food from the food ourt and taking the occasional break to "walk the mall", AKA going shopping, because, did I mention I worked at a mall??

I could write an entire post about all the fun things I got to do in that position, but one very cool thing we did as the management office was go to Navy Homecomings. 

The mall was very involved in the local community, and we enjoyed working with the Navy base. So whenever a ship would come back from deployment we would set up a booth on the pier and hand out trinkets to the kids and coupons to the spouses as they all waited for their loved ones to disembark.

I loved going to the homecomings, you could feel the excitment in the air, and there was nothing sweeter than seeing husbands, wives, daddies and children reunited after months apart. I thought homecomings were great, I got to enjoy the fun celebratory day of everyone coming home, without having to experience any of the loneliness or challenges of the several months prior that they had all been separated.

I met Richard at one of these homecomings. He had just been assigned to his ship, and was waiting to board it on the pier, when we struck up a conversation.

In college I dated a guy who was in the Army, and for 13 of the 16 months we were dating, he was stationed in Iraq. To put it simply, it sucked. After that, I swore I would never date, much less marry a guy who was in the military; I just didn't want to live that life of deployments and separations. 

When I met Richard though, I fell hard and fast, and my "no military" rule went right out the window.

Now we are closing in on the end of our second deployment together, although this is the longest we have ever been apart.

During our first deployment he got to come home after four months on emergency leave since I was in premature labor with Ryan. He had to go back to the ship afterward, but not for long. By the time the ship came in on homecoming day, it had only been a month since I'd seen Richard last.

This is the first full six month deployment we have done, and I am so excited about his return that I sometimes feel like I could jump out of my skin. I am nervous though too, it's been nearly six months since I've seen my husband and the butterflies in my stomach are going crazy.

No matter what though, no matter the weather, or if Richard is the last person to disembark the ship, this homecoming is ours.

I can't wait.

Photo courtesy of Google Images.

Flashback Friday - Recent Halloweens

I've always been a fan of Halloween. 

Sure, the candy is delicious, but my favorite part is getting to dress up every year. I was usually something predictable, like a pumpkin or a witch or a cat, although one year I was a Christmas Tree, and that was pretty rad. 

It was just so much fun trying to find the perfect costume, and then getting all the accessories for it, like face make up, creepy stick-on fingernails, vampire teeth, wigs, etc.

I was pretty bummed when my mom put the kibosh on trick-or-treating when I was 13. She told me I was too old and that people would be scared to have a teenager come to their door, and they'd all probably assume I was about to egg their house or something. So, from 13 to 18, Halloween really wasn't anything special. 

Once I went to college it got fun again, there was always an annual dance, haunted house and some sort of Halloween party going on. AND we got to wear costumes again. We were basically a bunch of over-sized kids getting to live out our Halloween fantasies one last time. 

Not to mention, since we could drive and had our own money, we didn't have to wait to go trick-or-treating, we could just go to the grocery store and buy as much Halloween candy as we wanted until we passed out from a sugar coma.

Once I had kids, and I had to be more budget-conscious, I realized that I should pretty much just spend our money on costumes for the boys, despite the fact that I really wanted to get in on the fun of dressing up with them.

When I was single and didn't have to spend my money on diapers and milk and chicken McNuggets, I wouldn't have given a second thought to paying $60 or more for a Halloween costume. Things are different though now, and considering that the boys will wear their costumes for probably two hours tops, it just isn't fiscally responsible of me to spend that kind of money on any of us.

Fiscally? Did I really just write that? I think I've seen one too many political ads lately.

Anyhow, so for Jacob's first Halloween I just dressed him up as a pumpkin. Richard was on deployment, and I was pregnant, so I wouldn't have fit into a costume anyway. 

But last year? Last year was truly inspired.

 I actually got the idea for it in February 2009, and then ordered the costumes in August. I was so excited.

Sure, it took a little bribing (and maybe a little whiskey), in order to get my husband to play along, but I absolutely adore this photo of us.

So now I am struggling to decide what I will be this year. The boys' costumes have already been decided, and I would like to get in on the fun, but at very little cost.

Here is what I am thinking:

I could be Snooki, because she is culturally relevant right now, and I definitely have enough hair to copy her 'do, and then I just need to throw on like a pound of bronzer.

*Photo courtesy of Google Images.

Or!

I am also considering going as Bella Swan from the Twilight series. I already have the brown hair and eyes, and I live in Washington. So really, all I would need to complete the costume is a "Team Edward" shirt, and then walk around  all pouty and angsty like emo Kristen Stuart.

*Photo courtesy of Google Images.

 What do you guys think? Which one would you vote for? 

Or do you have a totally different suggestion for me?


UPDATED:

Jonesin' for more of my thoughts? Check out my post over at http://thesmartly.com/ today!

Third

Three years ago today...

 I married this amazing man.

 I kind of adore him.

It was a beautiful day. 

Simple. Sweet. Just my style.

We laughed. We cried. We ate good food. 

 

Our dads. Negotiating the Dowry...or something.

 And at the end of the day, I was married to the man of my dreams.

He's pretty much stuck with me now.

See? It's legal. I'm almost positive.

Now that we've been married three years, we know each others' quirks, we've developed traditions as a couple and as a family. Things just feel out of balance, when the other is not around. And in spite of deployments and things that can sometimes get in the way, I am happier than I've ever been.

I'm so proud of Richard's many accomplishments, and how hard he works for our family. I am amazed at the sacrifices he makes, and his ability to keep going in situations when I know I would just sit on the floor and cry. I'm touched by his love for our sons, and I adore the soft side they bring out in him. 

He is my hero, my best friend, my confidante, my heart.

I'm sad that we cannot be together to celebrate today, this is our first anniversary apart. But I know we will be reunited shortly, and that will be the best belated anniversary gift I could receive.

Here's to Year Four!

Distance

With Richard on deployment, we are definitely faced with the challenge of staying connected, and up to date on what's going on with both of us. I try to keep Richard informed with stories and photos of the boys, and news of all that is happening here so that he doesn't feel like he is missing out on milestones, or big achievements while he's gone. Even though we are separated physically by many miles, I want him to feel like he is still very much a part of our lives, and vice-versa.

I think we do a pretty good job of communicating and sharing, and just simply asking each other what's new or how we're doing. 

Every once in awhile though, I will make mistakes. This happened yesterday.

I got some very exciting news in the morning, when I received an email from the folks over at www.thesmartly.com, that I had been accepted to be a contributing writer for them. This is huge for me; the first opportunity I have had to publish my writing on a site other than my own blog. I was thrilled when I got the news, and quickly told everyone I knew.

Almost.

It wasn't until about 7 o'clock last night that I suddenly realized I hadn't told Richard. 

I hadn't told my husband. The person closest to me.

How could I have made such an oversight?

This was the biggest news I have had in a long time, and I couldn't understand how I had failed to tell him the moment that I found out. I instantly typed out an email to him. I told him a thousand times that I wish more than anything he were here with me so we could celebrate together.

It made me feel a little better, but not much. I try so hard to keep him in our thoughts and in our hearts. His photos are everywhere, and I check my email like every five seconds, hoping to hear from him. He is constantly on my mind, and yet, his absence all these months caused me to forget the fact that he should be first on my list of people I share big stuff with.

It's not easy, having the miles and distance between us. No matter how on top of things I think I may be, I was reminded last night that I have to continually work to make sure that the physical distance between us does not become emotional as well.