Candy and Beer

Husband had a long day at work yesterday.

He got home late, feeling exhausted. He asked if I would go to the store and get him some beer and his favorite candy - blow pops.

I didn't really feel like it, but after a nail-biting competition of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it was decided that I would be the one to go.

So I changed out of my pajamas into real pants and a coat, since it was like 20 degrees outside, and headed to the store.

Now, we live kind of out in the boondocks. The closest actual grocery store is close to ten minutes away, with absolutely nothing in between, aside from empty summer homes and the county dump, so it can feel a lot longer than 10 minutes to get out there. After 5pm we usually aren't in the mood to make that long of a trip, so we typically opt to go to the rural gas station, which is only about two minutes in the opposite direction. 

They have a primitive grocery mart, with the kind of essentials people usually decide they need at about 8pm, like alcohol. And, since they pretty much have a monopoly on the food market for the whole southern half of the island, everything is priced way higher than normal.

The only reason we go there is to buy alcohol and candy; essentials at our house.

It seems like the last few times I have gone, the same guy is always working. And he is always the one who cashiers my purchase of a six pack and 30 blow pops. 

I'm so paranoid that, even though he always smiles and is polite, he must be thinking I am a crazy recluse alcoholic who eats her feelings.

Well, surprise surprise, guess who was working as I walked into the store last night? Mr. Totally Judges Me With His Eyes. 

I smiled and said hello, then quickly made my way to the back of the store. I found the refrigerator with the beer, and grabbed the Mike's Hard Lemonade Husband wanted, (okay, so it's not exactly "beer", but it's like when we're at a restaurant and Husband makes ME order the strawberry daiquiri that HE wants to drink, because he is too embarrassed to order it for himself. If it comes in a bottle and is sold in a six pack, we just call it "beer").

Next, I slowly headed over to the candy aisle, while scanning the check-out counter. To my luck, the guy was nowhere to be seen, and instead a middle-aged woman was checking a customer out. Sweet! This is my chance!

I grabbed as many blow pops as I could, and then a huge handful of watermelon Airheads, because Husband loves those too. I took a look at my pathetic basket. Beer, and a mountain of candy. Oh well, as long as that woman is still cashiering I should be good.

I walked over quickly but the guy was back! Mr. Judgy just popped up out of nowhere. Crap.

I sheepishly handed over my basket, while looking up at the ceiling, and down at the counter - pretty much everywhere except the guy's face.

At that point I couldn't decide which was more awkward: letting him go on assuming I am a lonely alcoholic with a massive sweet tooth, or blurting out, "I'm totally married! This is all for my husband!"

But all the sudden I was distracted by the fact that he had just scanned the beer and DIDN'T ASK FOR MY ID, OMG! I mean, so what if he's sold me alcohol like a dozen other times, he can't at least humor me by asking to see some ID?

So now he is a judgy jerk who thinks I'm old.

I paid for the items, told him I didn't need a receipt - I wasn't looking for any excuse to hang around longer than I had to.

As I was heading out the door, he called to me with a smile on his face, "We'll be seeing you soon, I'm sure."

I wanted to be offended. But it's probably true.

Off and Running

Both of the boys decided to start 2011 off running - literally. But they knew that to do so, they would need proper foot attire.

Binker has learned how to put his own socks on, which he LOVES to do. It doesn't matter if they match, or if they were dirty socks he found in the hamper, he really enjoys putting them on.

Bug has learned how to put shoes on. Usually it's Binker's shoes, since they are bigger, and therefore easier to slip on, but he does it really well! Once he puts the shoes one he runs around the house yelling "Walk! Walk!"

Binker with the socks, and Bug with the shoes, these guys make a great team! I can already imagine what kinds of schemes they will be coming up with, working together behind this Mom's back. 

Binker picks up on every. single. word. Which is awesome - most of the time. 

Not so awesome when he hears not-safe-for-toddler words...which has NEVER happened. 

::Cough cough::

Seriously though, it is so fun being able to talk with him more and more, and watch him form sentences. He is still my big singer, he loved all of the Christmas songs, and he keeps us in the Christmas spirit by continuing to sing "Jingle Bells" and "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" every day, even though Christmas is over. He also really enjoys "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes". I have been considering bringing my old guitar out of storage to see if he takes to it like he has taken to the piano. I have a feeling he will really like playing on it, he is just a musical kid. 

Bug has taken to singing too, although since he is still working on the whole language thing he can be hard to understand, but I have heard him sing "Twinkle Twinkle", "Skimmery Rinky Dinky Dink" and the "ABC's". He is pretty good at picking up on words too, just yesterday he said "Daddy" for the first time, as opposed to "Dada", and two days ago I took the boys to lunch at McDonald's, and he kept saying "M-no-no"...which I interpreted to be "McDonald's". Trust me, it's totally what he was saying. While he does like to sing now and then, as I mentioned, he is my busy boy, who loves to play chase or toss bouncy balls back and forth. This week he also began dribbling. I can't wait to put him in  basketball, or soccer, or pretty much any sport; I have a feeling he is going to take to it like a fish to water.

Every day I marvel at how big they both seem; they're truly turning into little boys - right before my eyes. It is bittersweet. I look through old photos and I miss their chubby little baby bodies, I miss being able to carry them around in a front pack, and I miss snuggling them when they were much less mobile and all they wanted was to be held. I don't know why time has to go by so fast. 

But, each day brings something new and fun to experience with them, so my focus for 2011 is to try to be as present as I possibly can, each day with them, and soak up every moment and every smile and giggle, since I know it  all goes by too quickly.

I am feeling anxious about their birthdays, I cannot believe Bug will be two and Binker will be three. It really does blow my mind. I am so thankful for my two precious boys, they are more than I ever deserved or dreamed I would have in my children. I am the luckiest mother on earth.

Written while not under the influence of sugar, carbs, alcohol or anything else delicious that is now restricted since it is the new year and I am on a diet.

I have ten blog drafts waiting to be edited. Or discarded.

I have been writing and trying to create something of value, but I don't feel like any of it is worthy of being read.

However, I wanted my readers, (all of six of you), to know that I am alive.

It's been almost two weeks since my last blog post and it has taken me this long to recover from our holiday season of overindulgence. And it was ohhhh so worth it.

Creamy coffees, Swedish pancakes with maple syrup, brown sugar glazed salmon, lemon drops, roasted turkey, mashed potatoes made with cream cheese, peppermint bark, buttered peas, buttered everything! OMG it was spectacular.

But then.

Reality hit. Our pants were feeling tight, and so was our budget. Richard and I decided it was time to get back to eating healthier and watching our spending. Diets aren't fun, and they are doubly un-fun when your debit card goes on a diet too.

This is where we are now though, January 2011. Looking to make positive changes in our lives.

Isn't that how we always start the new year? In the spirit of bettering ourselves, I thought I would share with all of you some of my goals for 2011:

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Read the Bible in one year - When I was about nine years old I read my children's Bible, which is like 500 pages, so I mean, that's quite an accomplishment for a child. But, I have never read the entire Bible, all the way through. I decided that it is something I need to do in my life, thus I have set out on my journey to read the Bible, beginning to end within this year. The funny thing is, I thought it would feel like a chore, but I am genuinely enjoying it and I look forward to my nightly readings. Husband has joined me in this too, and the nights he is home we read out loud with each other. It's become a really fun activity for us to share, and best of all, I'm only 28 chapters in and have already learned so many things that I never knew before. Now I am just wondering why it took me 26 years to get my act together, and start reading the most important book on earth on a regular basis!

Memorize one Bible verse every week - This one goes hand in hand with my first goal. I figured since I am reading the Bible, I might as well start committing some passages to memory.

Get paid for at least one writing job - So in the last seven months I started my blog, and became a contributing writer for The Smartly. This is all great experience for me and I love it...but would really love to branch out a bit and find some writing jobs that pay in actual money, in addition to the satisfaction I get from writing.

Write at least two blogs a week - Ok. FAIL. I know, I already messed up on this, the first week of the new year, but I am totally focused now and will work hard to keep to this goal.

Have Binker potty-trained by June 30th - This is a fluid goal for me. I would love to have him potty-trained by this date, but I know that potty training is something that cannot be rushed or forced, so if this date comes and goes, and he is still in diapers, then I am cool with that.

Date nights four times a month - Our lives are craaaaazy, yo! Between Husband's ever-changing work schedule, the kids, the housework, my writing, Husband's college classes and all the other millions of things that fill up our days, it's hard to get that essential "couple time". We're committed to setting aside time though, to focus on each other and our relationship. Whether that means dressing up and going out to dinner or putting the kids to bed early and just renting a movie doesn't matter, we just like to hang out together and talk about the two of us and how we're doing. In reality we do this a lot more often than once a week, but writing it down as a goal just reminds me to always keep our marriage the priority. 

Mommy and me dates with Binker and Bug four times a year - I get to hang out with the two coolest little dudes every day, but they are each so different and unique, so I like to do "mommy and me days" with each one individually, where we go do a fun activity and maybe go out to lunch. Basically, that kid gets to pretend to be an only child for a few hours and have mommy's full attention. What child doesn't love that? Plus, it is really fun for me to be able to have one-on-one time with each of my sons, and really see what's new with them and what they're doing now.

Read with the boys for a total of 30 minutes every day - Both Binker and Bug love books, and I want to foster that love for reading more and more as they grow. I don't time us or anything, but I just aim to sit and read with them as much as I can throughout the day - whenever they bring a book to me, or they seem bored, or I have a few extra minutes.

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So there you have it, some of my goals for 2011. I would love to hear some of yours - please feel free to share in the comments section for all to see. Until next time, Happy New Year! 

And to my fellow New Year dieters - Ughhh, here's to another day of being "healthy" or whatever.