Still Here

We're still here.

Life's been crazy as ever these past few weeks, and we've been dealing with a lot of changes, some awesome, some challenging, but we're here, and we're getting through it.

Next Tuesday we will go back to Children's Hospital, to hopefully get the diagnosis we've been seeking for Binker, and we can close that chapter, which I am very anxious to do. In other Binker news, he has been doing a lot more spontaneous speaking lately, which is more exciting than I can truly express. Having him say what's on his mind, and talk about things he sees, or what people are doing, or where things are - these are HUGE steps for him, and it really encourages me that he will continue to build upon this. 

Another thing I am excited about, is that I got a phone number for a hair stylist who works with special needs kids. Binker HATES haircuts. They give him major anxiety, and it is not a fun experience for anyone involved. Because of this, I stopped taking him to actual barber shops a long time ago, and have been giving him haircuts myself. To my great disappointment, I have no natural haircutting skills, and last night was probably my worst one ever. Binker has a bald spot on one part of his head. I sent him to preschool today wearing a hat, along with a note to his teacher asking if she knew anyone who might be able to help me, and to my great joy she did! Now we have a name and phone number, and I am so thrilled I will never be forced to butcher my son's hair again.

Today is an exciting day for our whole family, as Husband will be returning home after five weeks away at school for his new job in the Navy. We have missed him so much, and are beyond happy to have him return to us. I am so proud of all of his hard work, and all that he has accomplished. It has not been easy with him being gone. I am reminded, more than ever, that he is my rock, and my best friend. I am so ready to have him home again.

Bug is talking so much now. It is really fun to have "conversations" with him. I love knowing what's going on in that sweet little head of his. At the same time, it can be bittersweet, because I see how much Bug is talking, and can't help but wonder how much more Binker would be talking, since he is older. But I know there is no use in dwelling on that, so I try not to. I know that Binker is doing great, and he is so bright, and his brain just works differently, and that's okay.

Baby Boo is growing like crazy, and getting cuter every day. He rolled over from tummy to back a couple weeks ago, and he is thisclose to rolling from back to tummy. He keeps trying to sit up on his own, and in only a couple weeks we can begin giving him solid food! Time is just going way too fast with my sweet little babe.

All in all, we are doing great and are staying busy. Hopefully in the weeks to come I will find more time to sit down and write more detailed blogs, but this is it for now. Happy Friday!

Home Sweet Home

This past Monday, our sale officially closed, and this house, became ours.

Our very first home. All our own. No more rent checks, no more landlords.

Of course, that means that when the plumbing decides to act up, or there's a rat in the attic at 3am (heaven forbid), there is also no landlord to call to come deal with it. But, there is such a sense of pride and satisfaction in owning our own house.

The week before we found this house, there was another one we thought we wanted. We had been working with a Realtor at the time, and it was the nicest home we'd seen up to that point (read: no appliances had been ripped out and there were no domestic violence-esque holes in doors). Also, it appeared to be in a really nice neighborhood, something else we had not found. We decided it was as good as we were going to be able to find, even though it was a bit more than we originally wanted to pay. We told our Realtor on Saturday that we wanted to make an offer. He told us he would draw up the papers, and we could officially make an offer that Thursday - oh, and to bring a $5,000 check with us as earnest money deposit. Now, I'm not going to get into specifics of our finances and whatnot, but we are a single-income family, with two kids, one on the way. We don't have very much in the way of disposable income, so when the Realtor said "Five thousand dollars", I literally almost started laughing. I thought for sure he had to be kidding. He knew we were looking to go with a VA loan - no money down, and $5,000 sounded as good as a down payment in my mind.

Richard and I exchanged awkward glances, telepathically asking each other, Is this guy serious?

The guy shifted, and said, "Okay, at least a thousand then."

Another awkward exchange of glances.

The realtor raised his eyebrows, "You have to show them that you're serious about buying, you have to give them something."

We promised to arrive on Thursday with a $1,000 check, although neither one of us knew where we were going to find that money over the next five days.

During the drive home, our excitement over having just made our first offer on a house faded into uncertainty and frustration. We began to feel that maybe we just weren't able to buy a home; maybe this was something that was still very much out of reach for our young family at this time. By the time we got home, 45 minutes later, I wrote an email to our realtor telling him we had changed our mind on the offer, and that we just didn't think we could buy a home now. Essentially, we broke up with him.

The following weekend my parents had been driving around, when they came across a house that was for sale by owner. They got a flier, spoke briefly to the sellers, whom they said were super friendly, and then they passed the information along to us. We thought the flier looked great, although we were still feeling very skeptical from the brief house hunting experience we'd had. The next day we went to check it out, and, as they say, the rest is history.

Looking back now, I am so glad we didn't stick with that first house. Aside from the financial issues we were faced with up front, I realize now that we were going to sacrifice a lot. The house was a good 35 minutes from the school Jacob now goes to. So either I would have had to change and dress three little kids four mornings a week, to get Jacob to school on time, or he would have had to change districts, which we really did not want to do, since the one he is in has such a fantastic reputation. Also, the backyard of that house, while gated, left much to be desired. It was quite small, without much of a yard to speak of at all. The inside of the house was nice enough, but there wasn't any sort of designated playroom, and the family room wouldn't have accommodated all of their toys, plus our furniture. And, to top it off, we were going to pay way over our budget for the house, that, in hindsight, was just so-so.

The house we ended up purchasing? It's perfect, if I may say so. I have so many visions for this house. The backyard, in particular. I think our boys will love spending long summer days out in the fenced yard running, playing, chasing, rough housing, imagining. It is the perfect yard for kids. There is already a swingset, and I would like to add a slide onto it. There is also a seriously awesome tree, that is pretty wide with a low center - the perfect kind of tree for a tree house of some sort, so we are going to get to work building something like that next summer. There is a large deck, which I envision us having barbecues and drinks on while we watch the kids run around in the grass. I am so beyond thrilled about our new home, it really has all of the things that we wanted when we first set out on the house hunt a few months ago. And it was just too ironic that within days of us becoming discouraged, and believing there was no way we could afford a home, we found the one that met all of our needs, and was within our budget. I firmly believe God had his hand on us, guiding us to that house, knowing it was the perfect one for us and our three boys.

Now all that's left to do is pack up our things and prepare for the big move!

10 Years Later

On September 11th, 2001, I was addicted to my No Doubt Return of Saturn CD. I had it on repeat in my car; I didn't bother turning on the radio on the way to school. It was the second week of my senior year of high school. Life was simple.

I made my way to the building where my first class was, probably around 7:40 in the morning. I saw a group of people huddled around a TV. I realized that something was happening, but had no clue what. Our teacher let us watch the news for maybe 15 minutes, before forcing us to our studies. I remember that whole day was filled with lots of questions, and confusion, until I got home and was able to really get caught up on the horror of what had unfolded earlier that morning in New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania.

I was a 17 year old girl. 

So naive. 

I clearly remember thinking on the afternoon of the attacks, that we would never know who was responsible for them. At that time, I knew nothing of terrorists, or Al Qaeda. I equated the acts of 9/11 with murder, and in my mind, murderers usually try to hide who they are, to save their own skin. It was beyond my comprehension that anyone would actually claim responsibility or take credit for the villainous acts of that day. 

How my eyes were opened.

I was at an age where I was old enough to fully comprehend what had happened, and how terribly tragic it was. At the same time though, it was my first real exposure to anything so horrific. It was jarring.

So much death. So much loss.

I was beginning my senior year of high school; was this the world I was about to enter as an adult? Because I wanted none of it.

I can never stand up and say that my life was personally affected by what happened on September 11th, 2001. I didn't lose any loved ones, I didn't even know anyone who lived on the east coast at that time.  I know that the significance of that day to me, is eclipsed by the thousands and thousands of families and friends who did lose close ones on 9/11.

Yet, the words 9/11 will always feel like a bruise on my heart. Our country was irrevocably changed that day, and I think that most Americans share my sentiments toward it. Even if we weren't affected personally, we still take that attack personally, as U.S. citizens. And I believe it is something that will be hard for those to understand who did not live through it - my children, for instance. September 11th will simply be something they learn about in history class - it will be far away - removed from them. 

The day after the attacks, a beloved middle school teacher of mine died in a plane crash while on vacation in Mexico. The news was an added assault to the fragile state that I, and many of my classmates were in. To our young minds, it seemed the world was suddenly filled with evil and injustice. Good people die, and bad people triumph? I couldn't make sense of it.

The afternoon of September 12th, I sat in our back yard, in the sunshine. It was such a beautiful day, but it felt so wrong. It was as if someone forgot to tell the sun not shine; too many people were hurting.

My dad came outside, and started talking to me. I think he could see that I was hurt, afraid, and confused. After a while, he picked a rose from our yard, a lovely shade of pink. He handed it to me, and said, "This is something beautiful that God has made. There is still beauty in the world, and you need to hold on to that."

I have never forgotten what he said. There is pain in life, this is something that I have learned tenfold since that day ten years ago; but beauty does remain. Good remains. Oftentimes it is right in front of us, we just need to open our eyes to see it.

My heart will always break when I think of September 11th, 2001. So many dreams never reached, so many innocents taken from this earth, so many lives forever changed.

One lesson stands out though: that life is short. So very short. I try to hug my children a little longer (when they let me), and memorize how their faces look as they lay sleeping in their beds at night. Every day I kiss my husband, and tell him that I love him before he leaves for work in the morning. None of us know which day will be our last. No one can change the events of 10 years ago, and no one can prevent whatever tragedies may lay ahead. But I try to to hold onto faith and hope, and believe that through it all there is still goodness in the world.

Love your family, hold them tight. Enjoy every beautiful moment with them.

Goodbye to Summer

It's been quiet on my blog lately, although that has definitely not been the case in our real lives. We have been busy making our way through the house buying process. Applied for a loan, signed purchase and sale agreement, completed the inspection. Busy, busy, busy. Now we are just figuring out exactly when we are going to close, and when we will be moving into the new home, all while trying to prepare for baby #3 who is due in less than two months.

At the same time, the weather lately has been awesome. And it seems even nicer, considering that we really got jipped this summer. Everyone likes to make fun of the Pacific Northwest for being such a rainy, gray climate, but our summers are typically spectacular. Beautiful. Crystal-clear. Mountains shining white in the distance, trees bright green, water a perfect, tranquil blue. And the temps hover around the 70's. Summer in the Puget Sound makes up for the depressing days of winter.

Usually.

This summer though was kind of a let down. Our sunny days were few and far between, and the crazy weather really messed with the crops too. Last year this week, I picked 20 pounds of apples from our apple tree. Right now? I doubt there are even two pounds to be picked, the tree is so sparse. And our plum tree didn't bloom at all. Wouldn't you know this was the first year I tried to grow my own garden, but the crazy weather patterns were no help, and all I ended up with was a handful of green and string beans.

So, since the weather was so fantastic last week, (and I am assuming that it will most likely be our last great week of summer), I tried to keep busy with the kids, taking them places or just playing outside, so that they could enjoy as much of it as possible before the weather turns cold.

On Wednesday, my brother and I took the kids (my two boys, and my niece), to Remlinger Farms, in Carnation. We didn't really know what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised. It reminded us of a sort of miniature Disneyland, in a way. There were rides for the kids, animals, an empty school bus and fire truck to climb on and in, a train that you could ride around the farm, pony rides, musical entertainment, delicious food - seriously, SO much to do. The kids were in heaven.

Driving the school bus

Train Ride

Water ride

Carousel

Car ride

Thursday was another hot one, so the boys and I played in the back yard, for what may be one of our last times this summer. My kids are pretty easy to please. Hand them a hose to spray water around, and (one of the few) apples from the apple tree and they are happy. The boys just splashed around in the kiddie pool, and water table, and enjoyed being outside, one of their favorite places. Binker always says, "I like outside!" I get a little sad for him when I think of all the months we're going to be stuck inside during winter, but at least he will have school and other activities to keep him busy.

While they played happily in the water, I picked blackberries from our backyard. We don't have neighbors on one side of our house, it's just a large, overgrown blackberry field, and I can't believe that in the three-plus years we have lived here, I've never taken advantage of picking the blackberries - especially since they are my favorite. I picked several cups' worth though, and the boys were thrilled to eat them at lunch. I am thinking about making blackberry cobbler with the ones I have left.

Even though the temperatures were easily in the 80's, and we were all running around in shorts and tank tops, it was easy to see that fall is not far off. The signs of autumn are already starting to creep in.

I had to fight off a number of these spiderwebs to get the blackberries

Leaves changing color

It's always a little bittersweet to leave summer behind, but we have so much to look forward to in the coming months: Binker starting preschool, our newest son being born, moving into our very first home, and Husband beginning a new job with the Navy. Bring it on!

Future Home

As I mentioned several weeks ago, Husband and I have been hoping to buy a house of our own, now that we know we will be in the same area for another few years. And now it seems as though this may just become a reality for us.

We began the house hunting search, and saw our fair share of repos and foreclosures. While their price tags were attractive, we typically found that once we got into the homes, something was wrong. There were holes in doors and walls, appliances were missing, fixtures had been ripped out; the houses were usually stripped. We wanted to find something in our price range, but not a house that would need major repair or work done, because A) We don't have that kind of money, and B) Even if we did, neither one of us is talented enough to fix up a house.

To be honest, we were getting a little discouraged, afraid we would have to keep renting. And while we'd be thankful to simply have a roof over our heads regardless of whether or not it is "ours", we just hate the idea of throwing our money away each month.

And then we found The House.

It is about 20 minutes from where we live now, which will significantly cut down on Husband's commute to work. It is within walking distance to grocery stores and restaurants - this was important to me, since the nearest grocery store right now is a seven minute drive. The house is in immaculate condition, the current owners have really cared for it, and that was truly the biggest selling point of all - it doesn't appear to need any work. That, and the fact that it is in a quiet, safe cul de sac; the neighborhood of choice for young families. After our first viewing of the house, I couldn't help but get excited picturing our family living there, playing in the large back yard, the boys trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. It just felt right.

Going through the whole offer/counter offer process was not fun - I definitely do not have the personality for bargaining like that, and to make it worse, the sellers are really nice people, so I felt bad every time we would counter. In the end though, we all came to an agreement, and now the big stuff begins. I honestly have no idea how long the whole escrow process will take, or how complicated it will be.

And while we've been pre-approved for a loan, we have yet to decide which loan we actually want to commit to. I have been desperately trying to educate myself on different types of loans, APR's, PMI's, points, funding fees, etc. I have interest rates written all over the house - on scraps of paper, and the sides of Kleenex boxes. You can literally see the chaos that is happening in my brain right now.

Still, this whole process is exciting, and when I start to feel overwhelmed by it all, I just close my eyes, and envision our family living in our very first home together and that always helps. I can't wait for the day we get our keys and get to move in and make it all our own.

Fourth and Family

As I mentioned last year, the July 4th holiday holds a special place in my heart; to me, it is about family and celebration and good food and delicious wine, (when not knocked-up). That's why I am so thrilled that Husband is home this year to celebrate with the boys and me. Being the patriotic nerd that I am, I got us all red, white and blue - themed clothes to wear, and it practically feels like Christmas as I await the big day! On the schedule: lots of relaxing, eating, drinking, kayaking, playing with the boys and laughing with the family.

This is also a day to remember what we're really celebrating: our nation's independence. I am not the least bit afraid to call myself a proud American. This is the best freakin' country on the planet, and there is no place else I would ever want to call home.

Even if we do designate a day for people to get completely obliterated on alcohol and play with explosives.

Here's to another memorable Fourth of July. Wishing you all a happy and safe one! Oh, and if you're looking for tips on how to decorate your fingernails in a festive fashion for the Fourth, check out my Beauty Bonanza page!

The boys and their cousin in their Fourth of July outfits

Ready to partay!

Written while not under the influence of sugar, carbs, alcohol or anything else delicious that is now restricted since it is the new year and I am on a diet.

I have ten blog drafts waiting to be edited. Or discarded.

I have been writing and trying to create something of value, but I don't feel like any of it is worthy of being read.

However, I wanted my readers, (all of six of you), to know that I am alive.

It's been almost two weeks since my last blog post and it has taken me this long to recover from our holiday season of overindulgence. And it was ohhhh so worth it.

Creamy coffees, Swedish pancakes with maple syrup, brown sugar glazed salmon, lemon drops, roasted turkey, mashed potatoes made with cream cheese, peppermint bark, buttered peas, buttered everything! OMG it was spectacular.

But then.

Reality hit. Our pants were feeling tight, and so was our budget. Richard and I decided it was time to get back to eating healthier and watching our spending. Diets aren't fun, and they are doubly un-fun when your debit card goes on a diet too.

This is where we are now though, January 2011. Looking to make positive changes in our lives.

Isn't that how we always start the new year? In the spirit of bettering ourselves, I thought I would share with all of you some of my goals for 2011:

*     *     *

Read the Bible in one year - When I was about nine years old I read my children's Bible, which is like 500 pages, so I mean, that's quite an accomplishment for a child. But, I have never read the entire Bible, all the way through. I decided that it is something I need to do in my life, thus I have set out on my journey to read the Bible, beginning to end within this year. The funny thing is, I thought it would feel like a chore, but I am genuinely enjoying it and I look forward to my nightly readings. Husband has joined me in this too, and the nights he is home we read out loud with each other. It's become a really fun activity for us to share, and best of all, I'm only 28 chapters in and have already learned so many things that I never knew before. Now I am just wondering why it took me 26 years to get my act together, and start reading the most important book on earth on a regular basis!

Memorize one Bible verse every week - This one goes hand in hand with my first goal. I figured since I am reading the Bible, I might as well start committing some passages to memory.

Get paid for at least one writing job - So in the last seven months I started my blog, and became a contributing writer for The Smartly. This is all great experience for me and I love it...but would really love to branch out a bit and find some writing jobs that pay in actual money, in addition to the satisfaction I get from writing.

Write at least two blogs a week - Ok. FAIL. I know, I already messed up on this, the first week of the new year, but I am totally focused now and will work hard to keep to this goal.

Have Binker potty-trained by June 30th - This is a fluid goal for me. I would love to have him potty-trained by this date, but I know that potty training is something that cannot be rushed or forced, so if this date comes and goes, and he is still in diapers, then I am cool with that.

Date nights four times a month - Our lives are craaaaazy, yo! Between Husband's ever-changing work schedule, the kids, the housework, my writing, Husband's college classes and all the other millions of things that fill up our days, it's hard to get that essential "couple time". We're committed to setting aside time though, to focus on each other and our relationship. Whether that means dressing up and going out to dinner or putting the kids to bed early and just renting a movie doesn't matter, we just like to hang out together and talk about the two of us and how we're doing. In reality we do this a lot more often than once a week, but writing it down as a goal just reminds me to always keep our marriage the priority. 

Mommy and me dates with Binker and Bug four times a year - I get to hang out with the two coolest little dudes every day, but they are each so different and unique, so I like to do "mommy and me days" with each one individually, where we go do a fun activity and maybe go out to lunch. Basically, that kid gets to pretend to be an only child for a few hours and have mommy's full attention. What child doesn't love that? Plus, it is really fun for me to be able to have one-on-one time with each of my sons, and really see what's new with them and what they're doing now.

Read with the boys for a total of 30 minutes every day - Both Binker and Bug love books, and I want to foster that love for reading more and more as they grow. I don't time us or anything, but I just aim to sit and read with them as much as I can throughout the day - whenever they bring a book to me, or they seem bored, or I have a few extra minutes.

*     *     *

So there you have it, some of my goals for 2011. I would love to hear some of yours - please feel free to share in the comments section for all to see. Until next time, Happy New Year! 

And to my fellow New Year dieters - Ughhh, here's to another day of being "healthy" or whatever.

Finished Product

At the beginning of this year, I made a list of goals for myself. One of those goals was to make a quilt. 

When Richard left, it seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to take on such a task. My Aunt Nancy, who is a master quilter/sewer/crafter of all things, flew in for a one week visit in June, and she helped me in the process of finding the fabric, cutting, sewing and putting it all together. It was awesome.

Fabric prior to being cut

A quilter's workshop...coffee a necessity

Squares being cut and sewn together

Sewing...

Piecing everything together

Nearly-finished product

 My Aunt helped me to make that shirt I was wearing out of leftover fabric

Nancy took it back to California with her at the end of her trip, to have it professionally quilted by a friend of hers.

I got the quilt back last week.

It is beautiful. And huge! I love it. I can hardly believe that I had a hand in making it. It was so much fun, and I am so glad that Nancy was able to help me in the process, I couldn't have learned from a better teacher.

The front and back

Ryan checking it out

 Since her visit I have made three more - much smaller - quilts. I made identical ones for Jacob and Ryan, and one for my niece, Macy.

My niece's quilt, also made out of leftover fabric from my quilt

I have always had a love for creating things, and making a quilt is something I was certain I wanted to accomplish in my life. I am so glad I can say that I have now, and cross it off my list.

From Franklin to Family

Well, I have made it home. Now that I am back, safe and sound, and none of my planes crashed I am so happy that I went to the Killer Nashville conference. I had the most amazing time! I learned so much in those three days, took nearly 20 pages of notes and got invaluable advice.

The last time I blogged about the trip was Friday night, when I couldn't sleep. I don't think I actually ended up going to bed until 1:30am, and I tossed and turned all night. When my alarm went off at 7am Saturday morning I could barely open my eyes. I considered skipping the first class of the day to sneak in a couple more hours of sleep, but in the end, I didn't want to risk missing important information.

I dragged myself out of bed, got dressed and headed into the elevator. A few floors down, a woman got on with me, and we struck up a conversation. Her name was Deborah Shlian, and she has published five or six novels. She was incredibly nice, and we ended up getting coffee together and talking for about half an hour. She was so friendly and gave me some tips on getting published. I ended up buying one of her books and she signed it for me. I couldn't believe my luck, and was so thankful that I hadn't decided to sleep in! You never know what you might miss out on.

To Kellyn: Future writer. Wonderful to meet you!
Deborah Shlian

Saturday turned out to be a very exciting day. This was the day that the Guest Speaker, Jeffrey Deaver, spoke. He is the author of over 22 novels, two of which have been made into films. I had seen one of them, "The Bone Collector", a few years ago. It stars Angelina Jolie and Denzel Washington. That movie forever changed the way I think of taxis, and if you have seen the movie, then you know what I am referring to. He was a really humorous speaker, and it was so interesting to listen to him talk about the way he develops and writes his novels. Afterward, I purchased two of his books, got to have him sign both of them, and I even got my picture with him! (I was silently trying to soak up some of his literary talent!)


He was such a nice, accomodating guy, he signed books for everyone who asked, even staying much later than his handler wanted him to. He never seemed impatient or too good. That was actually one thing that pleasantly surprised me. There were many authors at the conference, and they were all so kind and open to talking to anyone who was looking for advice. For some reason, I assumed the published authors wouldn't want to mingle with aspiring authors like myself, but there were no egos to be found.

That evening, I got the chance to explore the town of Franklin, Tennessee. I met a girl, Rachel, who actually grew up in the Seattle area, but moved to Franklin with her mom two years ago. She was so sweet, and we had many things in common. She was kind enough to drive me downtown Saturday night. I got to take pictures of the cute, historic buildings that line the road. My pictures simply cannot do the town justice. It was absolutely adorable. I also got to shop at What's In Store, a small boutique where a lot of Nashville stars - Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, Jessica Simpson, etc. - shop. That was the only shop I got to go in though, because apparently things close quite early in the south...like as early as 5pm...on a Saturday!




So after walking up and down the street, we had dinner at a pizza restaurant, and then got to tour some more. The next stop was to the two town cemeteries, which are right across the street from one another. Unfortunately I didn't have my good camera with me, and since it was already dark out, my pictures are not the best, but you can imagine how creepy it was. We were standing on a pitch black street in front of these centuries-old cemeteries, while a thunder and lightning storm was going on. It was almost like reading a mystery novel, I couldn't write this stuff! It was creepy, but very cool at the same time.



After the cemeteries we drove out to the Carnton Plantation, which was the site of one of the biggest battles in the Civil War, where in the span of four hours one evening, over 1,700 Confederate soldiers lost their lives. The home was turned into a make-shift hospital. Apparently blood stains can still be seen on the floors of the bedrooms, where the injured and dead were laid. The owners of the Carnton Plantation, at the time, allotted part of their property to be used for a cemetery. It is the largest private military cemetery in the country. I took some pictures of it, but unfortunately because of the lighting, none of them turned out. It was another eerie experience. I love history, and being in a place where so many lost their lives, there are no words.

Sunday was our last day of classes. By 2pm, the conference was over. I spent the afternoon and evening relaxing at the hotel, enjoying my final few hours of not having to change diapers or make meals. While the conference was a blast, those four days away from my boys were about as much as I could handle.

The only blip in my trip happened Sunday night as I was packing my bags. I got a call from my mom that my dad was at the hospital, and most likely was going to have his appendix taken out. I felt bad that I couldn't be there for them, and that my mom couldn't immediately go be with my dad, since she was babysitting the boys. Thankfully her friend Laurie was able to come sit with them after they went to bed, and my mom got to be at my dad's side. I was in constant contact with my mom, as well as my in-laws, who were so sweet and wanted to check on the status of my dad's condition. Turns out it wasn't his appendix, but actually diverticulitis. He has been taking antibiotics and getting great medical treatment, and is on the road to recovery. The best news is that he got to go home last night!

It has been comforting for me to get home, be with my boys, and know that my dad is getting better. While writing is my passion, and something I hope to continue with and improve at, this trip showed me that family truly is the most important thing in my life, and I am blessed to not only have a wonderful husband and two great sons, but also an awesome extended family of Millers and MacQuarries. I am one lucky girl.

Fourth of July

I have been both highly anticipating, and dreading this day.

From the day Richard left on deployment, I just felt that once we got to July 4th, I would feel better. I would feel that we had chipped away a good portion of this deployment (two months exactly), and that my spirits would be up and the end wouldn't seem so far away. Fortunately, this date has arrived quickly for both Richard and myself. I find it hard to believe that we are here already, but am thankful for it.

I have been dreading this day however, because this is what I have always thought was our family holiday. When Richard and I got married, with him being in the military, I pretty much told myself to prepare for him to miss big holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, and to know that he wouldn't always be around on birthdays. But he has always been here on July 4th, and naively, I designated this day as our special family holiday, that we could always celebrate together. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's what I did. In fact, when we got the dates for this current deployment, my first thought was that he wouldn't be here for the Fourth. I was heartbroken.

I love to look at the pictures we have taken on the past few July 4th holidays, and look at how we have changed, and how our family has grown.

2007. Our first Fourth of July together, my Dad let Richard drive his Mustang, he almost crashed, and was afraid he would never see me again. We laughed it off though, and three days after this picture was taken, Richard proposed.

2008. Jacob's first Fourth of July, in our new home on Camano. It was so much fun celebrating as a family.

2009. Two kids, and a beautiful day where we made many fun memories.

2010. Just me and the boys this year. We miss Richard so much, but we couldn't be prouder of him and his service to our great country.

I keep telling myself that one year from now, Richard will be home, and we will get to celebrate together, with the boys. I will look back at this year's pictures and remember how much we missed him being here with us, but thankfully, it will be just a memory.

Tonight I will sit alone on our couch, watching the beautiful fireworks as they light up the night sky, missing my husband. Tomorrow morning though, I can wake up, with the 4th behind me, ready to move forward, finish out this deployment and get my husband home, where he belongs.

Brothers

When I found out we were pregnant with Bug, I just assumed that he would come out looking like an exact copy of Binker, same features, same coloring, same personality. Being so close in age, I couldn't imagine him being anything but a slightly younger version of Binker's twin. So when Bug was born it was a pretty big shock. He looked nothing like Binker, his facial features were entirely different, he had less hair than Binker did at birth, and it was much lighter. Also, Binker has big beautiful brown eyes, and Bug has these amazing blue eyes, (where the heck did those come from??). I have always wondered what color eyes my kids would have. My Mom has brown eyes, but my Dad has hazel, so I knew that if I married a person with light-colored eyes, I stood a 25% chance of having a child with light eyes too, (I learned about all this in 10th grade biology, when we studied genetics for a total of maybe two weeks, so I am clearly an expert). When I married Husband I assumed our kids would have brown eyes, as I had always been told that brown is the dominant gene, but I figured that if any of our kids ended up having light eyes they would either be hazel or green. But blue? That was definitely a surprise. It really makes me wonder, if we ever have another child, what that one will look like.

The differences between the boys don't stop with just their looks though. Bug has posed new challenges to me that I didn't have with Binker. For instance, Bug loves to climb. It seems like every time I turn around he is climbing up onto something new - and it's always something that is hazardous to children. With Binker, I could just block his access to dangerous things and he would move on to something else, but Bug is persistent in his attempts to get around my child-proofing. I guess persistence is a good quality to have, but it keeps me busy!

They are even different when it comes to eating. Binker likes to stay clean while he eats. He takes small bites, and chews his food until it is completely gone before he takes another bite. Once he is full he won't eat anything else, not even favorite items. (I have even seen him turn away M&M's - if I hadn't given birth to him, I would say this kid can't be mine!) Bug on the other hand, LOVES food. I think he has food radar, no matter what he's doing or where he is, he always seems to know when someone else is eating and he comes running out, hoping to get a bite. He shovels food into his mouth in fistfuls, making a huge mess all over his face and hands, and he could care less. Meal time is never really over for Bug, even after he has finished a huge dinner, once he is out of his high chair, he will often wander over to Binker's high chair to sneak food off of it!

Last weekend we took a trip to the beach, and they displayed their vastly different personalities there as well. Binker walked carefully around, inspecting everything thoughtfully. Only a couple times did he actually reach down and touch the sand or water, but each time he would rub his hands together quickly afterward, trying to get the dirt off his palms; he really doesn't like being dirty. Then there is Bug. He practically bathed in the sand! He rolled around in it, covering his clothes, arms, hands, and face with wet sand. He looked as happy as a pig in mud. I think I am still trying to get all the sand out of his hair.

 

"Look, Ma, no dirt!"

 

 

"Mmm, sand is yummy!"

Now that they're both here, I can't imagine having them be exactly the same. I love how different they are, it's what makes they both so special and unique. Yet even though they have many dissimilarities, there are certain awesome qualities that they share. They are both such loving and sweet boys. They are warm and affectionate, and they melt when you hold them; they love to cuddle. And they both give the BEST kisses.

Oh, and for some inexplicable reason, they like to do head-stands.

Binker

Bug