Anchors Away

Four years, six months and two days ago, I woke up at 4:45am, ready to head to the pier at Naval Station Everett for work, to welcome home the sailors from the USS Rodney M. Davis. I had no idea my entire life would change that day.

Somewhere in bachelor housing on the base, Husband was waking up, in a bad mood. This was to be his first day aboard the Davis, the ship he'd been assigned to. It was his first sea duty assignment, and he was not looking forward to it. He had no idea that a day he thought would be not so great, turned into one of the best days of his life.

I was organizing our booth on the pier, when I looked up to find myself staring into the most beautiful set of green eyes I'd ever seen in my life. It was only for a second though, the handsome sailor was passing by our table when our eyes met, and then he continued on. I grabbed my boss, Julie, and said "Oh my gosh, did you see that guy's eyes? They were gorgeous!"

I couldn't stop thinking about how handsome he'd been. I'd worked at several Naval homecomings before, and had never looked at a single sailor; I simply wasn't interested in dating someone in the military. But there was something about this one, I felt drawn to him. He was with a small group of other sailors, waiting to meet the ship, and they hung close to our table. He and I kept making eye contact and smiling shyly at one another. Finally, I saw him standing alone, this was my chance. I walked over, and asked him how long it would be before the sailors disembarked from the ship. He and I began talking, and before we knew it, we were sharing our life stories - where we each grew up, and information about our families. I found out that the day before had been his 23rd birthday, he was the same age as me. 

After about 15 minutes he said, "I'm Richard, by the way." I told him my name, and we shook hands. He got a cute smile on his face, and said, "So, can I get your number?"

Three hours later he called me. We went on our first date that night, and three weeks after that first date, he proposed. The rest is history. 

Our entire relationship, up to this point, has coincided with Husband's time on his ship. So many important moments in our life together have revolved around the ship's schedule. We couldn't take longer than a two day honeymoon because they were scheduled to ship out the Monday after we got married. The ship was in San Diego when Binker was born, so Husband had to take two weeks of leave so he would be home for his birth. And it was a miracle that Husband was granted emergency leave to come home for Bug's birth, since his ship was on a six month deployment when he was born. I have traveled to San Diego numerous times to visit him on the many trips his ship has taken down there. Before we met, I had never even been to San Diego, now I consider it to be one of my favorite cities. 

We've never been able to makes plans very far out, as the ship's schedule could be unpredictable, and always subject to change.

But all of that ends today.

Today is Husband's very last day on the ship. His tour of duty with them is over, after four and a half years. I don't even want to know how many days from those four and a half years we spent apart. I could try to figure it out, but that's just depressing. My guess would be at least half. There were the two deployments, equaling over a year's time, and dozens of underways, which ranged from a couple days' time, to a couple months.

While he was on the Davis though, he accomplished so much. When we met, Husband was a Seaman, he has since been promoted twice to Petty Officer, 2nd Class. He obtained his ESWS Pin two years ago, after extensive studying and testing. He was a member of the VBSS team, and while on the ship he earned a Navy Achievement Medal. We are beyond proud of his many successes. He is the hardest working sailor I know, and has been entrusted with numerous leadership responsibilities. But he is burnt out. Four and half years at sea is exhausting, and I know that these next few years off, in his new position will be a good relief for him. Selfishly, I am looking forward to no duty days and no deployments for a few years. I am so excited to have him home every night, on a somewhat regular schedule. 

It's weird to think that there will be no more 5am alarms to wake up to, no more days without him coming home. This is the only life I have known with my husband, but I am very excited for the next chapter to begin, and see where it takes us.

Looking Back

When I think back to the beginning of this deployment, I had a lot of apprehension. I didn't quite know what to expect or how it would be. I put on a brave face, I told Richard we would be fine, I tried to act like six months would fly by. 

But secretly, I was scared. 

I was scared of those early days, right after his departure when the mountain of separation that stood before us would be at its highest, and seem impossible to tackle. I was scared of the days that would seem never-ending. I was scared of all the hours I was going to have to live and be present and productive, without Richard here.

I was also unsure of how the boys would react to him being gone. They're still young, and toddlers - thankfully - live in the present. But then I also feared that they would forget him altogether, something I was determined not to let happen.

There were some days during these past almost six months that I thought would do me in. They were hard, but I have to say that, surprisingly, this time has gone pretty quickly. I am glad that the boys have done well, even without their Dad physically being with us. And I am, of course, so grateful and lucky to have such wonderful family and friends who saved me during the times I thought the loneliness would do me in.

I also owe my thanks to Facebook and, well, the internet as a whole, since it is a great source of distraction and a good time-killer.

My husband is a rock star in my eyes for completing this deployment. His hard work and motivation are to be admired. His chosen career means that sometimes he has to spend time away from us, but we never stop loving him, or keeping him in our thoughts. And, I believe that our relationship grows stronger with each separation. Near or far, Richard remains my best friend and a wonderful father to our sons. No distance or time apart could change that.

10 Reasons Why I Love the Navy

In light of recent circumstances, with Richard's deployment being extended, and our Hawaii vacation being canceled, I think it could be very easy for me to be upset and disappointed. 

But, I'm not.

I've had time to think everything over and I really think it is for the best. It may not be what we had planned, or what we originally wanted, but I know that Richard is serving a great purpose for our country, and that God is in charge of all things...so really, who I am to argue with our Heavenly Father or America?

I know better than to even go there.

Instead, I decided I would make a list of all the reasons I am grateful to the Navy.

1) The Healthcare. 

     This would be reason enough, in my mind, to love the Navy. When I had Jacob, all we had to pay was $30, and that was only because I had an epidural. Richard teased me that it would have been free if I hadn't opted for the pain meds. And when we had Ryan? I got a glimpse of what it cost for him to stay in the NICU for five days: over $20,000 dollars. And that didn't even include the cost of labor and delivery, which was in the thousands as well. 

    We didn't pay a penny.

    If not for the Navy's amazing healthcare that they offer, not only would we still be in debt from those bills I am certain, but it also would have prevented us from taking on any additional financial burden, like buying our van which has been such an asset, and it most definitely would have meant no more children for us. Whether or not we have another child remains to be seen, but the option to have another would not even exist with a financial burden such as that. And I'm not even going to try to imagine the kind of stress we would be under, attempting to pay off those bills.

2) Job Security.

    With the current economic times that we are in, I thank God every day that my husband works at a job where he cannot be fired. Sure, he also can't walk in and give his two-week's notice, but job security is invaluable these days. Also, Richard is up for promotions fairly often, which include pay raises - another nice benefit.

3) College.

    Thanks to the Navy, my husband is finishing his college degree - for free. How many people would love to say they are getting a free college education? He is tremendously lucky. Also, thanks to the G.I. Bill, when our kids are college-age, one of them will be able to attend college for very little cost as well.

4) Leave.

     Sure, the military might be picky about when Richard actually gets to use it, but he gets 30 days of leave a year. Pretty nice, in my opinion.

5) Adventure.

    Growing up, we never stayed in one town for longer than a few years, and because of this, I love change. I look forward to the different places the Navy will take us. If we don't like someplace, the good news is we get to move four years later. I think we are so lucky to get to move around our country, and possibly even the world. How many people live in the same place for decades, and would give anything for the chance to live and see other places - but never get to? Of course, moving is always an adjustment, but we are the lucky ones, in my mind. Plus, being in the Navy means that wherever we are based will be near the ocean - you can't go wrong with that. You know it's going to be someplace beautiful.

6) The uniform.

    Ladies? Can I get an amen? Navy uniform...Yum.

7) Homecoming Day.

    Deployment is not very much fun...although I do get the bed to myself, I get to control the remote, and basically go without putting on make up or worrying about shaving for six months. But with every Deployment, there is always a Homecoming Day. And, as my friend Kathy said to me, Homecoming Day is more exciting than your wedding day. It really is!

8) Military Discount.

    I'm not gonna complain if a store wants to give me 10% off!

9) Military ID.

    Ladies, if you don't like the photo on your driver's license, this is a second chance for you to get it right.

10) The pride.

    I am filled with such pride when I get to tell people my husband is in the Navy. I really am at a loss for words here. He works so hard, sacrifices so much, and never complains. He is my hero in more ways than one.

So, thank you, U.S. Navy, for all that you do. Sometimes it can be a love/hate relationship, but you honestly do a great job of taking care of my husband and our family. And really, is there any better organization one can be associated with?

Homecoming King

Before I had kids and became a stay at home mom, I worked as the marketing assistant for the Everett Mall. 

It was pretty much the coolest job you could possibly imagine. 

Most of my days were spent laughing with coworkers, writing, eating Mexican food from the food ourt and taking the occasional break to "walk the mall", AKA going shopping, because, did I mention I worked at a mall??

I could write an entire post about all the fun things I got to do in that position, but one very cool thing we did as the management office was go to Navy Homecomings. 

The mall was very involved in the local community, and we enjoyed working with the Navy base. So whenever a ship would come back from deployment we would set up a booth on the pier and hand out trinkets to the kids and coupons to the spouses as they all waited for their loved ones to disembark.

I loved going to the homecomings, you could feel the excitment in the air, and there was nothing sweeter than seeing husbands, wives, daddies and children reunited after months apart. I thought homecomings were great, I got to enjoy the fun celebratory day of everyone coming home, without having to experience any of the loneliness or challenges of the several months prior that they had all been separated.

I met Richard at one of these homecomings. He had just been assigned to his ship, and was waiting to board it on the pier, when we struck up a conversation.

In college I dated a guy who was in the Army, and for 13 of the 16 months we were dating, he was stationed in Iraq. To put it simply, it sucked. After that, I swore I would never date, much less marry a guy who was in the military; I just didn't want to live that life of deployments and separations. 

When I met Richard though, I fell hard and fast, and my "no military" rule went right out the window.

Now we are closing in on the end of our second deployment together, although this is the longest we have ever been apart.

During our first deployment he got to come home after four months on emergency leave since I was in premature labor with Ryan. He had to go back to the ship afterward, but not for long. By the time the ship came in on homecoming day, it had only been a month since I'd seen Richard last.

This is the first full six month deployment we have done, and I am so excited about his return that I sometimes feel like I could jump out of my skin. I am nervous though too, it's been nearly six months since I've seen my husband and the butterflies in my stomach are going crazy.

No matter what though, no matter the weather, or if Richard is the last person to disembark the ship, this homecoming is ours.

I can't wait.

Photo courtesy of Google Images.

Flash Back Friday - Like Father Like Sons

My friend Chris very kindly pointed out to me that I have been neglecting to do my "Flash Back Friday" segments. 

I admit, it's been harder to do than I originally thought. I had planned to put a lot of old diary entries, and college papers on here. But, as it turns out, most of those college papers aren't very interesting to read, and as for the diary entries - let's just say I won't torture all of you with the musings of a dramatic 15 year old girl.

But I think it's fine for me to put pictures on here, which leads me to this week's theme.

When Richard gets home from deployment I am planning to blow up photos of the boys, and put giant words on them that say things like "Welcome Home Daddy!" and, "We Missed You!", etc. Then we're going to place the welcome home signs along our street leading up to the house.

I took these pictures of the boys yesterday evening, wearing miniature Sailor uniforms. These are the photos I plan to use to make the signs:

Jacob in his Sailor uniform

My kids are so patriotic

After I uploaded the pictures to my computer though, I was instantly reminded of a similar one taken a couple decades ago...

Richard, wearing a similar uniform. Awww!

 

 It's funny though, because I have always thought that Ryan most resembles Richard, but when comparing the photos I took of the boys, to this one of Richard, I kind of think that Jacob looks more like him, at least at that age. 

I really see the similarities in this photo in particular:

Happy Flash Back Friday!

Round of Applause

Lately Jacob really seems to understand that people applaud for accomplishments. He has taken to clapping several times a day for his own accomplishments - of which there are many, I will have you know.

He claps every time he sings through the ABC Song, (he knows 20 of the 26 letters now).


He claps every time he successfully balances a clothes hanger on his tricycle handle, (I don't know why, but he thinks it is fascinating).


He claps after he helps me read through books he knows by heart.


Today he clapped when I asked him where his Daddy is and he said "Boat!"


And this afternoon when he learned how to turn on the hose? You guessed it - he clapped.



He claps for other people too though. For instance, he has a musical turtle that sings a song about numbers, and he likes it when I sing along every time he presses the button. My work does not go unrewarded either, each time I finish singing, he enthusiastically claps for me, even if he makes me sing 20 times in a row!

I started thinking, wouldn't it be funny if every time adults accomplished something - even as simple as making dinner, or filling the car with gas - we started applauding for ourselves? Afterall, it does feel very good to receive praise for your work. Who knows, it may even solve the world's problems.

Since it isn't socially acceptable yet, for adults to do so, I am including this video, so every time you believe you deserve some applause, you can watch it to get your fix!