Addict

So Richard decided to join Facebook this past week.

Which was great. For about five minutes. Then he discovered Facebook games, and that was all he cared about.

*    *    *    *    *

Richard, you should comment on my status.

Sure, sure, I will, but I am advancing my civilization right now. This game is SO awesome you have to play it.

Um, I don't play Facebook games. Why don't you talk to someone on Facebook? That's why most people have Facebook - it's a social network. We socialize. Not play games.

*    *    *    *    *

Aside from the occasional time-killer here and there, I've never been into Facebook games. Earlier this year, it seemed like most of my friends were crazy about them, and every day my Facebook account was flooded with invites to harvest a field in Farmville,  or join someone's Mafia, or help a friend bake a billion cupcakes in Cafe World. 

It just wasn't my thing, and I ignored all of them. I didn't get what was so enticing about a fake farm, or a fake mafia or fake cupcakes - Hello! That is just plain wrong. If I am going to help you bake cupcakes I better get to freaking eat one at the end of all that work.

But it seemed as though my friends had stopped playing their games. Or perhaps they just realized I wasn't going to assist them. In any case, I had stopped getting those invites.

Until Richard joined Facebook.

All the sudden I was once again being bombarded by these invites to help him build his ancient civilization in City of Wonder. But I couldn't simply hit "Ignore", because two seconds later Richard would come hound me about it in person. There was no escape!

*    *    *    *    *

Listen Richard, I can't help you with your game. I have a reputation to uphold.

On Facebook?

Yes.

What does that even mean?

It means I don't play Facebook games, okay?

*    *    *    *    *

And I was all snooty and so above any of that game-playing.

He begged me to play his game - to just try it. I finally caved and agreed I would give it a try the next day while he had duty. 

After I fed the boys their breakfast that morning I remembered my promise, and decided to take a quick look at the game before showering and starting on the laundry and my long list of chores for the day. 

Next thing I know, it's FIVE HOURS LATER, I'm still in pajamas, my hair is greasy from lack of shower, our laundry hasn't been touched, my mascara from the day before is smudged under my eyes and I can't leave my computer - not for more than two minutes - or my civilization might fall into ruin!

I. Was. Addicted.

I spent $25 dollars of REAL MONEY on this game buying myself gold - FAKE gold. 

Real money for fake gold. 

On what planet does that make sense?? And yet, I couldn't stop myself. I had to increase my monies.

Richard called me in the evening to discuss the game. I told him how irritated I was at him for getting me so addicted to this dumb game that I could not quit playing.

*    *    *    *    *

You're my husband! You're not supposed to get me hooked on bad things like this.

I know! It's super fun, right? I just hope you're remembering to feed the kids, hahaha...

What kids.

*    *    *    *    *

Don't worry, the children got dinner...eventually. WHAT!

Tomorrow we are planning to take the kids to the park, far far away from any computers or ancient civilizations. If that doesn't do the trick, you may see me wind up on "Intervention", eyes bloodshot, with week-old Cheetos stuck in my ratted hair. 

OMG someone stop me please.