Looking Back

When I think back to the beginning of this deployment, I had a lot of apprehension. I didn't quite know what to expect or how it would be. I put on a brave face, I told Richard we would be fine, I tried to act like six months would fly by. 

But secretly, I was scared. 

I was scared of those early days, right after his departure when the mountain of separation that stood before us would be at its highest, and seem impossible to tackle. I was scared of the days that would seem never-ending. I was scared of all the hours I was going to have to live and be present and productive, without Richard here.

I was also unsure of how the boys would react to him being gone. They're still young, and toddlers - thankfully - live in the present. But then I also feared that they would forget him altogether, something I was determined not to let happen.

There were some days during these past almost six months that I thought would do me in. They were hard, but I have to say that, surprisingly, this time has gone pretty quickly. I am glad that the boys have done well, even without their Dad physically being with us. And I am, of course, so grateful and lucky to have such wonderful family and friends who saved me during the times I thought the loneliness would do me in.

I also owe my thanks to Facebook and, well, the internet as a whole, since it is a great source of distraction and a good time-killer.

My husband is a rock star in my eyes for completing this deployment. His hard work and motivation are to be admired. His chosen career means that sometimes he has to spend time away from us, but we never stop loving him, or keeping him in our thoughts. And, I believe that our relationship grows stronger with each separation. Near or far, Richard remains my best friend and a wonderful father to our sons. No distance or time apart could change that.