10 Reasons Why I Love the Navy

In light of recent circumstances, with Richard's deployment being extended, and our Hawaii vacation being canceled, I think it could be very easy for me to be upset and disappointed. 

But, I'm not.

I've had time to think everything over and I really think it is for the best. It may not be what we had planned, or what we originally wanted, but I know that Richard is serving a great purpose for our country, and that God is in charge of all things...so really, who I am to argue with our Heavenly Father or America?

I know better than to even go there.

Instead, I decided I would make a list of all the reasons I am grateful to the Navy.

1) The Healthcare. 

     This would be reason enough, in my mind, to love the Navy. When I had Jacob, all we had to pay was $30, and that was only because I had an epidural. Richard teased me that it would have been free if I hadn't opted for the pain meds. And when we had Ryan? I got a glimpse of what it cost for him to stay in the NICU for five days: over $20,000 dollars. And that didn't even include the cost of labor and delivery, which was in the thousands as well. 

    We didn't pay a penny.

    If not for the Navy's amazing healthcare that they offer, not only would we still be in debt from those bills I am certain, but it also would have prevented us from taking on any additional financial burden, like buying our van which has been such an asset, and it most definitely would have meant no more children for us. Whether or not we have another child remains to be seen, but the option to have another would not even exist with a financial burden such as that. And I'm not even going to try to imagine the kind of stress we would be under, attempting to pay off those bills.

2) Job Security.

    With the current economic times that we are in, I thank God every day that my husband works at a job where he cannot be fired. Sure, he also can't walk in and give his two-week's notice, but job security is invaluable these days. Also, Richard is up for promotions fairly often, which include pay raises - another nice benefit.

3) College.

    Thanks to the Navy, my husband is finishing his college degree - for free. How many people would love to say they are getting a free college education? He is tremendously lucky. Also, thanks to the G.I. Bill, when our kids are college-age, one of them will be able to attend college for very little cost as well.

4) Leave.

     Sure, the military might be picky about when Richard actually gets to use it, but he gets 30 days of leave a year. Pretty nice, in my opinion.

5) Adventure.

    Growing up, we never stayed in one town for longer than a few years, and because of this, I love change. I look forward to the different places the Navy will take us. If we don't like someplace, the good news is we get to move four years later. I think we are so lucky to get to move around our country, and possibly even the world. How many people live in the same place for decades, and would give anything for the chance to live and see other places - but never get to? Of course, moving is always an adjustment, but we are the lucky ones, in my mind. Plus, being in the Navy means that wherever we are based will be near the ocean - you can't go wrong with that. You know it's going to be someplace beautiful.

6) The uniform.

    Ladies? Can I get an amen? Navy uniform...Yum.

7) Homecoming Day.

    Deployment is not very much fun...although I do get the bed to myself, I get to control the remote, and basically go without putting on make up or worrying about shaving for six months. But with every Deployment, there is always a Homecoming Day. And, as my friend Kathy said to me, Homecoming Day is more exciting than your wedding day. It really is!

8) Military Discount.

    I'm not gonna complain if a store wants to give me 10% off!

9) Military ID.

    Ladies, if you don't like the photo on your driver's license, this is a second chance for you to get it right.

10) The pride.

    I am filled with such pride when I get to tell people my husband is in the Navy. I really am at a loss for words here. He works so hard, sacrifices so much, and never complains. He is my hero in more ways than one.

So, thank you, U.S. Navy, for all that you do. Sometimes it can be a love/hate relationship, but you honestly do a great job of taking care of my husband and our family. And really, is there any better organization one can be associated with?

Homecoming King

Before I had kids and became a stay at home mom, I worked as the marketing assistant for the Everett Mall. 

It was pretty much the coolest job you could possibly imagine. 

Most of my days were spent laughing with coworkers, writing, eating Mexican food from the food ourt and taking the occasional break to "walk the mall", AKA going shopping, because, did I mention I worked at a mall??

I could write an entire post about all the fun things I got to do in that position, but one very cool thing we did as the management office was go to Navy Homecomings. 

The mall was very involved in the local community, and we enjoyed working with the Navy base. So whenever a ship would come back from deployment we would set up a booth on the pier and hand out trinkets to the kids and coupons to the spouses as they all waited for their loved ones to disembark.

I loved going to the homecomings, you could feel the excitment in the air, and there was nothing sweeter than seeing husbands, wives, daddies and children reunited after months apart. I thought homecomings were great, I got to enjoy the fun celebratory day of everyone coming home, without having to experience any of the loneliness or challenges of the several months prior that they had all been separated.

I met Richard at one of these homecomings. He had just been assigned to his ship, and was waiting to board it on the pier, when we struck up a conversation.

In college I dated a guy who was in the Army, and for 13 of the 16 months we were dating, he was stationed in Iraq. To put it simply, it sucked. After that, I swore I would never date, much less marry a guy who was in the military; I just didn't want to live that life of deployments and separations. 

When I met Richard though, I fell hard and fast, and my "no military" rule went right out the window.

Now we are closing in on the end of our second deployment together, although this is the longest we have ever been apart.

During our first deployment he got to come home after four months on emergency leave since I was in premature labor with Ryan. He had to go back to the ship afterward, but not for long. By the time the ship came in on homecoming day, it had only been a month since I'd seen Richard last.

This is the first full six month deployment we have done, and I am so excited about his return that I sometimes feel like I could jump out of my skin. I am nervous though too, it's been nearly six months since I've seen my husband and the butterflies in my stomach are going crazy.

No matter what though, no matter the weather, or if Richard is the last person to disembark the ship, this homecoming is ours.

I can't wait.

Photo courtesy of Google Images.

Free Fall

Last week I had my first essay published at The Smartly.

And, because I am completely insane, I started off with an opinion piece.

I kind of doubted that they would even post it, and then, when it was posted so quickly - wow.

I was terrified.

All the sudden my head was pounding, my stomach was tight, I was breathing faster.

Did I really want this?

I read over it a few times. 

No. No, nothing is right. I need to revise. OMG! How could I have thought this was a finished piece of writing?!

I took a few deep breaths. It didn't help.

I took an Advil. It helped a little. 

I took the boys to McDonald's and snuck a couple of their fries. That helped a lot.

All my life I have wanted to be published, and this is such an awesome start for me; I was so looking forward to it happening. But, I didn't realize what it would feel like.

Jumping off a cliff.

No parachute.

No safety net. 

Just me, and my words. And everyone's judgment.

Some will love me. Some will hate me.

This is the risk.

And...I think I am willing to take that risk again. And again.

Flashback Friday - Recent Halloweens

I've always been a fan of Halloween. 

Sure, the candy is delicious, but my favorite part is getting to dress up every year. I was usually something predictable, like a pumpkin or a witch or a cat, although one year I was a Christmas Tree, and that was pretty rad. 

It was just so much fun trying to find the perfect costume, and then getting all the accessories for it, like face make up, creepy stick-on fingernails, vampire teeth, wigs, etc.

I was pretty bummed when my mom put the kibosh on trick-or-treating when I was 13. She told me I was too old and that people would be scared to have a teenager come to their door, and they'd all probably assume I was about to egg their house or something. So, from 13 to 18, Halloween really wasn't anything special. 

Once I went to college it got fun again, there was always an annual dance, haunted house and some sort of Halloween party going on. AND we got to wear costumes again. We were basically a bunch of over-sized kids getting to live out our Halloween fantasies one last time. 

Not to mention, since we could drive and had our own money, we didn't have to wait to go trick-or-treating, we could just go to the grocery store and buy as much Halloween candy as we wanted until we passed out from a sugar coma.

Once I had kids, and I had to be more budget-conscious, I realized that I should pretty much just spend our money on costumes for the boys, despite the fact that I really wanted to get in on the fun of dressing up with them.

When I was single and didn't have to spend my money on diapers and milk and chicken McNuggets, I wouldn't have given a second thought to paying $60 or more for a Halloween costume. Things are different though now, and considering that the boys will wear their costumes for probably two hours tops, it just isn't fiscally responsible of me to spend that kind of money on any of us.

Fiscally? Did I really just write that? I think I've seen one too many political ads lately.

Anyhow, so for Jacob's first Halloween I just dressed him up as a pumpkin. Richard was on deployment, and I was pregnant, so I wouldn't have fit into a costume anyway. 

But last year? Last year was truly inspired.

 I actually got the idea for it in February 2009, and then ordered the costumes in August. I was so excited.

Sure, it took a little bribing (and maybe a little whiskey), in order to get my husband to play along, but I absolutely adore this photo of us.

So now I am struggling to decide what I will be this year. The boys' costumes have already been decided, and I would like to get in on the fun, but at very little cost.

Here is what I am thinking:

I could be Snooki, because she is culturally relevant right now, and I definitely have enough hair to copy her 'do, and then I just need to throw on like a pound of bronzer.

*Photo courtesy of Google Images.

Or!

I am also considering going as Bella Swan from the Twilight series. I already have the brown hair and eyes, and I live in Washington. So really, all I would need to complete the costume is a "Team Edward" shirt, and then walk around  all pouty and angsty like emo Kristen Stuart.

*Photo courtesy of Google Images.

 What do you guys think? Which one would you vote for? 

Or do you have a totally different suggestion for me?


UPDATED:

Jonesin' for more of my thoughts? Check out my post over at http://thesmartly.com/ today!

Online Dating

With our anniversary earlier this week, I found myself thinking about the road that got us to this point, and how my life truly did change in that instant when I met Richard. 

We talk about it often, and it still amazes us both how many things had to go exactly right in order for us to meet in the moment that we did. I think it was just meant to be.

Sometimes though, I wonder what my life would be like if I had never met and married Richard. I'm pretty sure I'd still be single. Living in my parents' basement, probably with five cats by this time, and watching romantic comedies every Saturday night before crying myself to sleep.

What?

I'm just guessing.

I'm thankful that I met my husband, because I honestly have no idea where you're supposed to meet your spouse once you get out of college.

In 2006 I decided to try my luck at online dating. The first site I used was eHarmony. Most of the guys matched up with me were older, uptight, without a sense of humor. I have no idea how we got matched because I love to laugh and I get so uncomfortable when I am having a conversation with someone who all but refuses to laugh or even crack a smile.

I went on one date with this red-headed guy who barely made eye contact with me the whole time, he was so shy. I remember thinking how ridiculous it was that my mom made me give her his full name and where we were going on our date in case I wound up missing or dead. Clearly, this guy couldn't even hold a conversation with me, I seriously doubted his ability to hold a murder weapon.

Another time, I went to dinner with a guy who was obsesssed - OBSESSED - with Mariners baseball. They're not even a good team! I mean, I root for the M's, cause I got hometown pride, but seriously dude, they're not a good team. Anyway, so after he had chatted about the Mariners for an hour, he was trying to describe himself to me and this is what he said:


Guy: You know that movie, 40 Year Old Virgin?


Me: Yes...


Guy: And you know that scene where they show his apartment and he's got all those action figures still in their original boxes? And they cover like every single inch of his house?


Me: Yes.


Guy: That's totally me. It's almost like that movie was about me. 

Then he smiled. Like that was actually supposed to impress me.

Then there was some preppy jerk from Bellevue that got matched up with me, and he just kept writing these long messages talking about how awesome and rich he was, and how lucky I would be if I got to go on a date with him. So I deleted him.

After I didn't have much luck on eHarmony, I decided to try Match.com. I heard about Match from a former coworker of mine who had been rejected from eHarmony since she was a four-time divorcee. She ended up meeting her fifth husband on Match and they had a "lovely Pagan wedding" or something crazy like that.

I was even further discouraged on Match. Most of the guys that lined up with my search requests seemed to already have kids from multiple previous relationships, or were divorced a few times over (probably lots of other eHarmony rejects, I assumed). 

But then. The last straw.

A guy I went to high school with found me on Match and started messaging me.

Oh holy lord of all that is embarrassing!

Not only was it a guy that:

A) I had never liked, let alone been attracted to, that was now trying to hook up with me via online dating, but 

B) I figured he was already starting a phone tree with all of our former classmates, telling them that I was a pathetic loser.

Reason #37 why I am not going to my high school reunion.

And that was the end of my online dating foray.

For the record, I don't think there is anything wrong with online dating. I have several friends who have found their true loves online, and I think that the internet has opened up the amazing ability for us to connect with The One, even if the The One lives thousands of miles away.

It just didn't work for me.

But I'm not complaining.

I think it all worked out for the best.

Third

Three years ago today...

 I married this amazing man.

 I kind of adore him.

It was a beautiful day. 

Simple. Sweet. Just my style.

We laughed. We cried. We ate good food. 

 

Our dads. Negotiating the Dowry...or something.

 And at the end of the day, I was married to the man of my dreams.

He's pretty much stuck with me now.

See? It's legal. I'm almost positive.

Now that we've been married three years, we know each others' quirks, we've developed traditions as a couple and as a family. Things just feel out of balance, when the other is not around. And in spite of deployments and things that can sometimes get in the way, I am happier than I've ever been.

I'm so proud of Richard's many accomplishments, and how hard he works for our family. I am amazed at the sacrifices he makes, and his ability to keep going in situations when I know I would just sit on the floor and cry. I'm touched by his love for our sons, and I adore the soft side they bring out in him. 

He is my hero, my best friend, my confidante, my heart.

I'm sad that we cannot be together to celebrate today, this is our first anniversary apart. But I know we will be reunited shortly, and that will be the best belated anniversary gift I could receive.

Here's to Year Four!

Camping

When I was a kid, few things were more exciting than getting to go camping.

I think I fell in love with camping because my brother was a boy scout, and he got to go camping all the time. In fact, when I was younger I used to want to be a boy scout. I even wished we lived in Canada, because someone once told me that in Canada, girls are allowed to join the boy scouts. 

And I didn't want to be a girl scout, because everyone knows they're super lame. While the boy scouts got to do awesome stuff like camping with mountain lions, archery and rafting, all we got to do as girl scouts was make shirts using puffy paints, and visit nursing homes.  

So, clearly, who wouldn't want to be a Boy Scout?

The only thing good about Girl Scouts are their cookies, but those aren't even available year-round.

So since I wasn't a boy, and therefore, wasn't allowed to go camping with my brother's scout troop, it was always a treat for me when we'd get to camp out at our house. This usually involved my brother, my dad and myself sleeping in our tent in our fenced-in back yard.

On rare occasions though, my parents would actually pack up the tents, and all of my brother's campsite cooking gear, and we would head out for a night of real camping in the woods.

I loved it. 

We would build a campfire, roast marshmallows and my dad would tell us stories that would scare me silly. I didn't mind sleeping on the hard ground, my head resting on a jagged rock for a pillow. 

I didn't mind using the campsite restrooms that didn't offer soap. Or warm water. 

I didn't mind waking up in the morning, freezing from the cold, and soaking wet from the dew that had leaked through the tent's sides. It was all part of the grand experience!

As I got older though, my love of camping waned. I preferred a warm, comfy bed to the hard, cold sleeping arrangements of the great outdoors.

When Richard and I were dating, I actually asked him if he liked camping, because the last thing I wanted was to marry a man who would make me go camping with him all summer long, and I'd have to pretend I loved it. Because like 15 years into our marriage we'd be having an argument one day and I'd be all, "Well ya know what? I NEVER liked camping!" And then his whole world would be shattered it would be just a big, ugly mess.

So I was relieved when Richard told me that he too, is not a fan.

I can't remember which was my last camping trip: the one where my brother and I hiked down to the beach and got attacked by sand fleas, or the one where I drank too many Mike's Hard Lemonades, woke up at 3am, couldn't find the restroom and had to pee in the dark, bear-infested woods. Either way, I haven't gone camping in nearly six years. I think I'm done with all that out-doorsy stuff.

We have two sons though, and I was certain that around ages three and four they would probably get the desire to camp out in the back yard. 

But I think it may have happened sooner than I was expecting.

Recently, I ordered two miniature tents, which are meant for traveling with. I am planning to take them with is when we travel to Hawaii and then Illinois this winter. Since both the boys can climb out of cribs now, I wanted them to have something to sleep in that they cannot escape from, so that I won't have to stay up all night guarding our hotel door making sure they don't take off with any strangers...or let one in.

They love the tents. 

I mean, it must be some genetic thing in boys. Like, they just know they are supposed to be into camping out and roughing it and stuff. They were playing in the tents all weekend, so Saturday night I decided I would indulge them a bit.

And we camped out.

Mommy-style.

Their tents:

My tent:

 Okay, that's just my bed.

Our campfire:

(Battery-operated candles).

There were even wild animals roaming around the campsite:

 

It was some legit camping up in here.

Except that it was a pleasant 70 degrees, and I didn't wake up wet from dew, bitten from sand fleas, or hung over from Mike's Hard Lemonade. And my bathroom was two feet away, offering me more than enough soap and warm water.

I think I might just be in love with this whole camping thing again.