Free Fall

Last week I had my first essay published at The Smartly.

And, because I am completely insane, I started off with an opinion piece.

I kind of doubted that they would even post it, and then, when it was posted so quickly - wow.

I was terrified.

All the sudden my head was pounding, my stomach was tight, I was breathing faster.

Did I really want this?

I read over it a few times. 

No. No, nothing is right. I need to revise. OMG! How could I have thought this was a finished piece of writing?!

I took a few deep breaths. It didn't help.

I took an Advil. It helped a little. 

I took the boys to McDonald's and snuck a couple of their fries. That helped a lot.

All my life I have wanted to be published, and this is such an awesome start for me; I was so looking forward to it happening. But, I didn't realize what it would feel like.

Jumping off a cliff.

No parachute.

No safety net. 

Just me, and my words. And everyone's judgment.

Some will love me. Some will hate me.

This is the risk.

And...I think I am willing to take that risk again. And again.