Still Here

We're still here.

Life's been crazy as ever these past few weeks, and we've been dealing with a lot of changes, some awesome, some challenging, but we're here, and we're getting through it.

Next Tuesday we will go back to Children's Hospital, to hopefully get the diagnosis we've been seeking for Binker, and we can close that chapter, which I am very anxious to do. In other Binker news, he has been doing a lot more spontaneous speaking lately, which is more exciting than I can truly express. Having him say what's on his mind, and talk about things he sees, or what people are doing, or where things are - these are HUGE steps for him, and it really encourages me that he will continue to build upon this. 

Another thing I am excited about, is that I got a phone number for a hair stylist who works with special needs kids. Binker HATES haircuts. They give him major anxiety, and it is not a fun experience for anyone involved. Because of this, I stopped taking him to actual barber shops a long time ago, and have been giving him haircuts myself. To my great disappointment, I have no natural haircutting skills, and last night was probably my worst one ever. Binker has a bald spot on one part of his head. I sent him to preschool today wearing a hat, along with a note to his teacher asking if she knew anyone who might be able to help me, and to my great joy she did! Now we have a name and phone number, and I am so thrilled I will never be forced to butcher my son's hair again.

Today is an exciting day for our whole family, as Husband will be returning home after five weeks away at school for his new job in the Navy. We have missed him so much, and are beyond happy to have him return to us. I am so proud of all of his hard work, and all that he has accomplished. It has not been easy with him being gone. I am reminded, more than ever, that he is my rock, and my best friend. I am so ready to have him home again.

Bug is talking so much now. It is really fun to have "conversations" with him. I love knowing what's going on in that sweet little head of his. At the same time, it can be bittersweet, because I see how much Bug is talking, and can't help but wonder how much more Binker would be talking, since he is older. But I know there is no use in dwelling on that, so I try not to. I know that Binker is doing great, and he is so bright, and his brain just works differently, and that's okay.

Baby Boo is growing like crazy, and getting cuter every day. He rolled over from tummy to back a couple weeks ago, and he is thisclose to rolling from back to tummy. He keeps trying to sit up on his own, and in only a couple weeks we can begin giving him solid food! Time is just going way too fast with my sweet little babe.

All in all, we are doing great and are staying busy. Hopefully in the weeks to come I will find more time to sit down and write more detailed blogs, but this is it for now. Happy Friday!

Señora in the Moon

I have to say that I consider myself pretty lucky as far as husbands go. Mine never asks to go out to the bar with the boys, he doesn't go hunting, or off to sports games, leaving me at home to take care of the kids. As long as we've been together, if he is not at work, he is at home, with me. 

His hobby is playing video games, which, as nice as it is having him consistently be just down the hall, I admit that I do at times feel like I'm married to a teenage boy. Aside from Mario Brothers 2, I've never understood the allure of video games or how they are entertaining enough to play for hours on end. 

Husband has always been good about making time for me though. Clearly, we had three children in four years. But we think it's important that our relationship be a priority, and so we try to get alone time together whenever we can. Our main activities though, were watching movies on Netflix, and making babies.

Until now.

     So baby, I think we need to do some kind of an activity together. You know, 
     join a class like mountain climbing or cage fighting, or something. I'm open.

    ....That's really not my thing. Plus, I'm pretty sure this is just those two glasses
     of wine you had talking.

     No, no, I'm for real. I want to spend more time with you, and I think it would 
     be good for us to try something new. Ok, so it doesn't have to be self defense, 
     what if we...learned a foreign language together? 

That sounded much more my style. Learning a new language with my husband? I imagined us out for a romantic dinner, gazing into each other's eyes, speaking in some romantic tongue like Italian, or French, or maybe even Hebrew. Something different and exotic. Yes, very romantic. I was on board.

I pulled up the Rosetta Stone website, and Husband and I began going over their list of languages offered. 

     Now, we could do French, that's a very lovely, romantic language. Or, we could
     take Italian, since we want to go to Italy someday, and I can't think of anything
     more romantic than walking through the streets of Italy, speaking the native
     language to one another. What do you think, my darling?

     No, no, no...hmmm. We need something useful, something that can be used to 
     our advantage against our enemies in battle. Now we could always take 
     Russian, but I think that Chinese would be better suited here. I mean, no one 
     knows Chinese. Think of what an asset I would be to the Navy if I learned 
     Chinese! Or we could always do Tagalog. Some guy on my ship was Filipino 
     and he taught me a swear word, so I've already got a little background in the 
     language.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Chinese Buffet, but hard as I tried, I could not picture anything romantic about Richard and me speaking Chinese back and forth to one another. We discussed it a bit more, and in the end, we decided on Spanish. I know, not exactly exciting, but we figured we would be able to get the most use out of that language. I mean, we're only a few blocks away from a Mexican restaurant, where we can test out our new language. 

Plus, I love margaritas and tamales, so, added bonus right there.

     Okay, so we're agreed on Spanish. Order that shiz, baby!

     All right...but are you sure you want to do this? I mean, it's not cheap. So I
     don't want you to wake up in the morning and be all, yeah, that was the wine
     talking, I didn't mean for you to spend almost $200 on materials to learn
     another language.

     No way Jose, I am down to learn some español! See? I already sound like a 
     natural. Let's do this!

So this should be fun, getting to spend some time, every night together, learning a new skill. I am really excited.

I just hope Husband doesn't wake up tomorrow and change his mind, otherwise we'll have a ton of Spanish learning materials that will just sit in our house collecting dust, and I'll be stuck ordering Mexican food in boring old English for the rest of my life.

Anchors Away

Four years, six months and two days ago, I woke up at 4:45am, ready to head to the pier at Naval Station Everett for work, to welcome home the sailors from the USS Rodney M. Davis. I had no idea my entire life would change that day.

Somewhere in bachelor housing on the base, Husband was waking up, in a bad mood. This was to be his first day aboard the Davis, the ship he'd been assigned to. It was his first sea duty assignment, and he was not looking forward to it. He had no idea that a day he thought would be not so great, turned into one of the best days of his life.

I was organizing our booth on the pier, when I looked up to find myself staring into the most beautiful set of green eyes I'd ever seen in my life. It was only for a second though, the handsome sailor was passing by our table when our eyes met, and then he continued on. I grabbed my boss, Julie, and said "Oh my gosh, did you see that guy's eyes? They were gorgeous!"

I couldn't stop thinking about how handsome he'd been. I'd worked at several Naval homecomings before, and had never looked at a single sailor; I simply wasn't interested in dating someone in the military. But there was something about this one, I felt drawn to him. He was with a small group of other sailors, waiting to meet the ship, and they hung close to our table. He and I kept making eye contact and smiling shyly at one another. Finally, I saw him standing alone, this was my chance. I walked over, and asked him how long it would be before the sailors disembarked from the ship. He and I began talking, and before we knew it, we were sharing our life stories - where we each grew up, and information about our families. I found out that the day before had been his 23rd birthday, he was the same age as me. 

After about 15 minutes he said, "I'm Richard, by the way." I told him my name, and we shook hands. He got a cute smile on his face, and said, "So, can I get your number?"

Three hours later he called me. We went on our first date that night, and three weeks after that first date, he proposed. The rest is history. 

Our entire relationship, up to this point, has coincided with Husband's time on his ship. So many important moments in our life together have revolved around the ship's schedule. We couldn't take longer than a two day honeymoon because they were scheduled to ship out the Monday after we got married. The ship was in San Diego when Binker was born, so Husband had to take two weeks of leave so he would be home for his birth. And it was a miracle that Husband was granted emergency leave to come home for Bug's birth, since his ship was on a six month deployment when he was born. I have traveled to San Diego numerous times to visit him on the many trips his ship has taken down there. Before we met, I had never even been to San Diego, now I consider it to be one of my favorite cities. 

We've never been able to makes plans very far out, as the ship's schedule could be unpredictable, and always subject to change.

But all of that ends today.

Today is Husband's very last day on the ship. His tour of duty with them is over, after four and a half years. I don't even want to know how many days from those four and a half years we spent apart. I could try to figure it out, but that's just depressing. My guess would be at least half. There were the two deployments, equaling over a year's time, and dozens of underways, which ranged from a couple days' time, to a couple months.

While he was on the Davis though, he accomplished so much. When we met, Husband was a Seaman, he has since been promoted twice to Petty Officer, 2nd Class. He obtained his ESWS Pin two years ago, after extensive studying and testing. He was a member of the VBSS team, and while on the ship he earned a Navy Achievement Medal. We are beyond proud of his many successes. He is the hardest working sailor I know, and has been entrusted with numerous leadership responsibilities. But he is burnt out. Four and half years at sea is exhausting, and I know that these next few years off, in his new position will be a good relief for him. Selfishly, I am looking forward to no duty days and no deployments for a few years. I am so excited to have him home every night, on a somewhat regular schedule. 

It's weird to think that there will be no more 5am alarms to wake up to, no more days without him coming home. This is the only life I have known with my husband, but I am very excited for the next chapter to begin, and see where it takes us.

Today

Today, life is great.

My sons are running around playing. Their smiles are big and warm, and their laughter is genuine, in the way that only the laughter of children can be. They are healthy, and growing bigger every day. They make me happier than I could ever truly express.

The new baby is kicking more and more often. I felt the first big outside kick two nights ago, and quickly put Husband's hand on my stomach and he felt a kick immediately after. It doesn't matter how many children we have, those kicks never get old. We constantly marvel at the miracle that this, and each baby is.

My husband works so hard for our family, and he has made so many sacrifices for our sake. Tonight he will come home, and we will share our nightly routine of laying on our bed, watching Netflix shows on TV. Right now we are hooked on Glee and Sons of Anarchy. (Oh, but don't tell anyone on my husband's ship that he watches Glee, they're still giving him crap about the time he watched The Notebook with me).

Life is just good right now. It always is, but we have so much to be thankful for at this time, and so much to be happy about.

Growing up, I always wanted a husband who would be my best friend, and I always wanted to be a stay at home mom to my kids. To be able to wake up every day, and live that dream, is so sweet. Sure, there are days that can be messy and sticky and stressful, but I wouldn't want my life any other way. I am blessed beyond measure and so excited for what the future holds for our family.

Happy Father's Day 2011

One of the great things about having a blog is that I get to brag about the people that I love.

Today it is all about my handsome husband, but more importantly, the amazing role he fills as Daddy to our children.

He was a natural from the very beginning.

He adored our first son, Binker.

 And he was just as thrilled when our second son, Bug, arrived.

 He's always been great at being silly with the boys, and playing along with us.

He is always showering the boys with hugs and kisses. He loves freely and generously; a trait I am so thankful for.

 And he is never too busy to lend a helping hand to this tired mama.

 Seeing my husband with our sons makes my heart positively melt.

 It's clear how much they idolize their Daddy.

 They're so lucky to have him. (And so am I).

Happy Father's Day, sweetheart. We love you so much.

Candy and Beer

Husband had a long day at work yesterday.

He got home late, feeling exhausted. He asked if I would go to the store and get him some beer and his favorite candy - blow pops.

I didn't really feel like it, but after a nail-biting competition of Rock, Paper, Scissors, it was decided that I would be the one to go.

So I changed out of my pajamas into real pants and a coat, since it was like 20 degrees outside, and headed to the store.

Now, we live kind of out in the boondocks. The closest actual grocery store is close to ten minutes away, with absolutely nothing in between, aside from empty summer homes and the county dump, so it can feel a lot longer than 10 minutes to get out there. After 5pm we usually aren't in the mood to make that long of a trip, so we typically opt to go to the rural gas station, which is only about two minutes in the opposite direction. 

They have a primitive grocery mart, with the kind of essentials people usually decide they need at about 8pm, like alcohol. And, since they pretty much have a monopoly on the food market for the whole southern half of the island, everything is priced way higher than normal.

The only reason we go there is to buy alcohol and candy; essentials at our house.

It seems like the last few times I have gone, the same guy is always working. And he is always the one who cashiers my purchase of a six pack and 30 blow pops. 

I'm so paranoid that, even though he always smiles and is polite, he must be thinking I am a crazy recluse alcoholic who eats her feelings.

Well, surprise surprise, guess who was working as I walked into the store last night? Mr. Totally Judges Me With His Eyes. 

I smiled and said hello, then quickly made my way to the back of the store. I found the refrigerator with the beer, and grabbed the Mike's Hard Lemonade Husband wanted, (okay, so it's not exactly "beer", but it's like when we're at a restaurant and Husband makes ME order the strawberry daiquiri that HE wants to drink, because he is too embarrassed to order it for himself. If it comes in a bottle and is sold in a six pack, we just call it "beer").

Next, I slowly headed over to the candy aisle, while scanning the check-out counter. To my luck, the guy was nowhere to be seen, and instead a middle-aged woman was checking a customer out. Sweet! This is my chance!

I grabbed as many blow pops as I could, and then a huge handful of watermelon Airheads, because Husband loves those too. I took a look at my pathetic basket. Beer, and a mountain of candy. Oh well, as long as that woman is still cashiering I should be good.

I walked over quickly but the guy was back! Mr. Judgy just popped up out of nowhere. Crap.

I sheepishly handed over my basket, while looking up at the ceiling, and down at the counter - pretty much everywhere except the guy's face.

At that point I couldn't decide which was more awkward: letting him go on assuming I am a lonely alcoholic with a massive sweet tooth, or blurting out, "I'm totally married! This is all for my husband!"

But all the sudden I was distracted by the fact that he had just scanned the beer and DIDN'T ASK FOR MY ID, OMG! I mean, so what if he's sold me alcohol like a dozen other times, he can't at least humor me by asking to see some ID?

So now he is a judgy jerk who thinks I'm old.

I paid for the items, told him I didn't need a receipt - I wasn't looking for any excuse to hang around longer than I had to.

As I was heading out the door, he called to me with a smile on his face, "We'll be seeing you soon, I'm sure."

I wanted to be offended. But it's probably true.

Weighing-In

If you know me, then you probably know I've been trying to lose some weight. It's weird how when I'm dieting, time seems to go by so slowly, and it can feel like it will be an eternity until my next bite of a delicious, high-sugar carb. When I'm not dieting however, time suddenly goes into warp speed, and the next thing I know, the "baby" that I keep claiming I recently gave birth to, is now nearing his 18 month birthday and I realize that I really can't use that excuse anymore.

So I decided that I needed to take some action; I need to lose some of this chub so that elderly people and Asians will stop asking me when my baby is due, (and no, I am not ageist or racist, those are the two specific groups who have actually asked me when my baby is due).

So if today is the 18th of June...then that means that I have been on a diet for the past 26 years. It's okay though, I accept the fact that I will never be naturally thin, and that I will always have to be mindful of what I eat, (and try not to hate skinny people in the process). If I look at the bright side of this, maybe I could start a website that reviews all different diet programs and regimens, as I have been on most of them at one time or another. I think the first official diet program I ever did was Weight Watchers, but I have also used Slim Fast a couple times through the years, as well as Atkins, from time to time. During college I had much success with LA Weight Loss, and more recently I was on Nutrisystem; but at the present time I am simply counting calories. I have also tried some not so well-known diet programs, such as drinking three Sobe juice beverages a day, as meal replacements (I thought this brilliant plan up all by myself, if you can believe it), that one lasted less than 48 hours because ohmigod was I STARVING!

My weight has been up and down throughout the years, and I have the stretchmarks to prove it. Yet something is different now that I am married. Richard is such an amazingly sweet husband, and never once has he made a negative comment about my weight, not even when I was 9 months pregnant and enormous. He tells me every day that he thinks I am beautiful, and when I tell him I am dieting he says that I don't need to, and that he is concerned I am going to get too skinny, bless his heart! In fact, the time when Richard told me he thought I was a size 4 - that was the moment I knew I would stay with him forever! Honestly though, Richard has given me a confidence and acceptance of myself that I've never had before. While I know I still need to lose some weight, and I would like to do so in order to feel better about my appearance, Richard's support is so helpful, and lets me know that even when I falter in my weight loss attempts (which I know is inevitable every now and then), he will always be there to tell me that I am still good enough in his eyes.

I am so lucky to be his wife.