Fourth of July

I have been both highly anticipating, and dreading this day.

From the day Richard left on deployment, I just felt that once we got to July 4th, I would feel better. I would feel that we had chipped away a good portion of this deployment (two months exactly), and that my spirits would be up and the end wouldn't seem so far away. Fortunately, this date has arrived quickly for both Richard and myself. I find it hard to believe that we are here already, but am thankful for it.

I have been dreading this day however, because this is what I have always thought was our family holiday. When Richard and I got married, with him being in the military, I pretty much told myself to prepare for him to miss big holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, and to know that he wouldn't always be around on birthdays. But he has always been here on July 4th, and naively, I designated this day as our special family holiday, that we could always celebrate together. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's what I did. In fact, when we got the dates for this current deployment, my first thought was that he wouldn't be here for the Fourth. I was heartbroken.

I love to look at the pictures we have taken on the past few July 4th holidays, and look at how we have changed, and how our family has grown.

2007. Our first Fourth of July together, my Dad let Richard drive his Mustang, he almost crashed, and was afraid he would never see me again. We laughed it off though, and three days after this picture was taken, Richard proposed.

2008. Jacob's first Fourth of July, in our new home on Camano. It was so much fun celebrating as a family.

2009. Two kids, and a beautiful day where we made many fun memories.

2010. Just me and the boys this year. We miss Richard so much, but we couldn't be prouder of him and his service to our great country.

I keep telling myself that one year from now, Richard will be home, and we will get to celebrate together, with the boys. I will look back at this year's pictures and remember how much we missed him being here with us, but thankfully, it will be just a memory.

Tonight I will sit alone on our couch, watching the beautiful fireworks as they light up the night sky, missing my husband. Tomorrow morning though, I can wake up, with the 4th behind me, ready to move forward, finish out this deployment and get my husband home, where he belongs.