Hoarding, revisited.

Okay.

I just opened the garbage can in our kitchen and something caught my eye, something that didn't belong in there: clothes. And toys. And a sippy cup. And a baby monitor. All stuffed into a grocery bag, and thrown into the garbage can. It took me about .2 seconds to finger the culprit.

Bug. My hoarder.

I wrote about his hoarding habit before, almost a year ago, and since then, he has only gotten worse. He hoards everything - and I mean everything - from rubber balls, to mittens, to hair curlers, to scraps of paper he finds on the floor, to the toilet paper roll holder thingy. And he will hoard these items into whatever he can find, such as the DVD cabinet, cardboard boxes, clothes hampers, shoes, animal cracker boxes, his backpack, and his favorite, the grocery bag.

For your enjoyment, and as a way to maintain my sanity, (because I mean, really, at this point, it's either laugh at it or lose my mind), I have taken some photos of places I have discovered his hoarding piles.

Yeah, that's a paper towel roll.

Okay, this one is fun. Not only did he hoard small items into each of those red stocking hats, but then he hoarded the hats and his dinosaur into his high chair. He is hoarding his hoarded items. It's like Inception for hoarders, OMG.

Hoarding in his shoes. Really?

This past weekend though, I believe took the prize. I needed to use the bathroom, but when I opened the door, I was met with this:

Yes, that is correct. He hoarded in the toilet. And upon fishing the items out of the toilet, what kinds of treasures did we find? Well, for starters, about 50 plastic travel place mats (there goes $5.00 I'll never get back), the toilet paper holder, a red Santa bag from Target (the same one that is pictured about six photos up), and a baby shoe. Husband and I were holding our breath the entire time until we reached the bottom and confirmed that (THANK GOD), Bug had not attempted to flush the toilet with all of that stuff in there.

Oh, and as a side note, I just want to give a shout-out to the Lid-Lok toilet lock company for making just one more "child-proof" item that I have trouble using, yet my toddlers can - not only open - but also remove without difficulty. It's on the same list as child-proof doorknobs, and child-proof dishwasher locks. Am I smarter than a toddler? Apparently not.

A few weeks ago, I got so concerned over Bug's unstoppable hoarding that I Googled it. I was surprised to read that apparently many toddlers engage in this behavior, as it is their way of taking control over something, like their toys, in a world where they don't have much control. These articles also warned against trying to stop the child, claiming it is harmless behavior, and that if you try to stop them from doing it, it will only lead to unnecessary tantrums.

Now, I am all about avoiding tantrums, but in all my years I have never heard of toddler hoarding, and I find it hard to believe that it is that common of a thing. Is anyone else out there dealing with this issue? Even on a much smaller scale?

Please tell me I'm not alone, otherwise I am calling TLC. If I can't stop Ryan from hoarding, maybe we can at least we can get some celebrity out of it.

Flashback Friday - Christmases Past

Disclosure: I am stealing this post idea from Stefanie over at The Trigstad Family.

I thought that posting Santa photos from the past few years was such a cute idea, to show how the kids have grown and changed, and to debate over which Santa was the creepiest, obviously. I have to apologize though, I don't have any actual digital copies of the pictures, so these were all either scanned, or are a photo of a photo. Not the best quality, but it works.

2008, Binker's first Christmas, he was exactly 7 months old the day we had this photo taken. Ohh, he was so chubby and cute in his little vest and tie!

2009,  Binker was about 19 months old, and Bug was about 8 months. I love how Binker looks unsure about this whole situation, I remember he kept staring at Santa's beard, and Bug is just eating up the attention.

2010, Binker was 2 and a half, and Bug was about 20 months old. Neither one would smile for the camera, but amazingly they sat still and no one cried!

2011, Binker is 3 and a half, Bug is a little over 2 and a half, and Boo was exactly one month old on picture day. This year was by far the most challenging. Binker and Bug were not at all interested in sitting on Santa's lap, so we kept bribing them with candy. You can see in this picture that Binker is about 2 seconds away from sliding off the chair, but miracle of all miracles, we managed to get a photo of them all looking at the camera! (I gave up on trying for a smiley picture a long time ago).

So there you have it. Photos of our Christmases past. I have to admit that I do feel a little robbed that I don't have any photos of them screaming or crying because they don't want to be near Santa. Isn't that some sort of parent's rite of passage or something?

Anchors Away

Four years, six months and two days ago, I woke up at 4:45am, ready to head to the pier at Naval Station Everett for work, to welcome home the sailors from the USS Rodney M. Davis. I had no idea my entire life would change that day.

Somewhere in bachelor housing on the base, Husband was waking up, in a bad mood. This was to be his first day aboard the Davis, the ship he'd been assigned to. It was his first sea duty assignment, and he was not looking forward to it. He had no idea that a day he thought would be not so great, turned into one of the best days of his life.

I was organizing our booth on the pier, when I looked up to find myself staring into the most beautiful set of green eyes I'd ever seen in my life. It was only for a second though, the handsome sailor was passing by our table when our eyes met, and then he continued on. I grabbed my boss, Julie, and said "Oh my gosh, did you see that guy's eyes? They were gorgeous!"

I couldn't stop thinking about how handsome he'd been. I'd worked at several Naval homecomings before, and had never looked at a single sailor; I simply wasn't interested in dating someone in the military. But there was something about this one, I felt drawn to him. He was with a small group of other sailors, waiting to meet the ship, and they hung close to our table. He and I kept making eye contact and smiling shyly at one another. Finally, I saw him standing alone, this was my chance. I walked over, and asked him how long it would be before the sailors disembarked from the ship. He and I began talking, and before we knew it, we were sharing our life stories - where we each grew up, and information about our families. I found out that the day before had been his 23rd birthday, he was the same age as me. 

After about 15 minutes he said, "I'm Richard, by the way." I told him my name, and we shook hands. He got a cute smile on his face, and said, "So, can I get your number?"

Three hours later he called me. We went on our first date that night, and three weeks after that first date, he proposed. The rest is history. 

Our entire relationship, up to this point, has coincided with Husband's time on his ship. So many important moments in our life together have revolved around the ship's schedule. We couldn't take longer than a two day honeymoon because they were scheduled to ship out the Monday after we got married. The ship was in San Diego when Binker was born, so Husband had to take two weeks of leave so he would be home for his birth. And it was a miracle that Husband was granted emergency leave to come home for Bug's birth, since his ship was on a six month deployment when he was born. I have traveled to San Diego numerous times to visit him on the many trips his ship has taken down there. Before we met, I had never even been to San Diego, now I consider it to be one of my favorite cities. 

We've never been able to makes plans very far out, as the ship's schedule could be unpredictable, and always subject to change.

But all of that ends today.

Today is Husband's very last day on the ship. His tour of duty with them is over, after four and a half years. I don't even want to know how many days from those four and a half years we spent apart. I could try to figure it out, but that's just depressing. My guess would be at least half. There were the two deployments, equaling over a year's time, and dozens of underways, which ranged from a couple days' time, to a couple months.

While he was on the Davis though, he accomplished so much. When we met, Husband was a Seaman, he has since been promoted twice to Petty Officer, 2nd Class. He obtained his ESWS Pin two years ago, after extensive studying and testing. He was a member of the VBSS team, and while on the ship he earned a Navy Achievement Medal. We are beyond proud of his many successes. He is the hardest working sailor I know, and has been entrusted with numerous leadership responsibilities. But he is burnt out. Four and half years at sea is exhausting, and I know that these next few years off, in his new position will be a good relief for him. Selfishly, I am looking forward to no duty days and no deployments for a few years. I am so excited to have him home every night, on a somewhat regular schedule. 

It's weird to think that there will be no more 5am alarms to wake up to, no more days without him coming home. This is the only life I have known with my husband, but I am very excited for the next chapter to begin, and see where it takes us.

Living on the Spectrum

Sitting in the pediatrician's office that evening I felt sick. My stomach was in knots, my throat dry. I knew that tears were not far away, but I did my best to appear strong and composed, as though I had it together. I wanted to make sure I asked questions, and listened - really listened - to the doctor's answers. 

I couldn't stop staring at the piece of paper he held in front of us as he explained the situation we were facing. He said there were several red flags, based on the questionnaire I had filled out about our eldest son.

Loss of speech.

Poor eye contact.

Toe walking.

Jumping. Hand flapping.

No imaginary play. Solitary play.

The doctor refused to make a diagnosis then and there, but in his opinion, Jacob appeared to be exhibiting signs of autism.

Autism.

It was like the world came out from under me. Driving home that night, Husband and I didn't say much. We had so many thoughts and emotions we were trying to process. This had all happened so suddenly. Only a month before, we thought we had a typically-developing two year old, who was picking up new words every day. Then in mid-January we noticed he wasn't talking anymore. At all. In fact, our middle son, 10 months younger than Jacob, was talking more than he was. We knew something wasn't right.

It's been a busy and involved road since that night in the pediatrician's office almost a year ago: Speech therapy, occupational therapy, restrictive diet, dietary supplements, special ed preschool that focuses on speech delays. Lots of prayer.

It's taken me this long to feel ready to talk about it. Until now, I've only shared this part of our lives with a select few. My biggest concern has been that people will treat Jacob differently, or label him. I have said from the beginning, no matter what, autism may be something he has, but it will not be who he is. 

Now though, now that I have some perspective, I am excited to write about our journey. I won't lie. In the beginning, before the therapies started, before I really educated myself about the autism spectrum, I had a lot of fears. There were many days when I literally collapsed onto the floor crying, completely unsure of what my son's future looked like, now that autism was most likely a part of it.

We believe Jacob has what is known as regressive autism, meaning that for approximately the first 2 years, 8 months of his life, he was developing typically, there was no reason for us to be concerned. And then, without warning, he began regressing: losing language, not making eye contact with us, or responding to us; disappearing into his own "world". He began jumping a lot and flapping his hands, also known as "stimming". He would carry out repetitive actions.

This past year though, Jacob has made amazing progress. He went from not using any words, to regularly speaking in four-word sentences. He is beginning to ask "W" questions. He uses imaginary play on a daily basis. He can make choices when given options. His eye contact is stellar, and he often engages with other people. He is awesome at following directions. He knows the entire alphabet - recognizes each letter, knows the sound each letter makes, and can tell you a word that starts with each letter. He can count to 30, and I have lost track of the number of songs he knows by heart.

To someone else, these may all seem very simple, but watching my son learn and master these skills has been amazing for our family. I have watched him struggle so many times; frustrated when he doesn't have the words to express what he is feeling or thinking. So with each new step and task learned, I consider it one more crack in the process of breaking into his world. 

Our focus will remain what it has been this year. Keep pushing Jacob, keep supporting him, keep getting him the services and assistance he needs to continue building on the skills he has learned, and continue expanding his speech. Our ultimate goal at this time, is to have him in a regular classroom by the time he starts kindergarten. I believe he can do it, and we are committed to making it happen.

From now on, I will occasionally be sharing parts of our journey and experiences we have while going through this. I can't wait to see where Jacob will be 6-, 12-, 18-months down the line. I know he will only get better and better.

That January night, sitting across from the pediatrician, the last word that would have come to my mind was Joy. And even though we definitely have struggles and hard days, I have to say that seeing my son learn so much has brought me immense joy. Every little accomplishment is a reason to celebrate. I have also learned that some of my favorite parts of Jacob's personality are probably related to his autism; he wouldn't be the same boy he is without. And I wouldn't change him for anything.

On birthing a 10 pound baby, and other reasons I am done having kids.

             
                 No more kids for me!!

That was the first text I sent after having Boo.

Don't get me wrong. I adore him. The moment I saw him, I fell instantly in love. I kept saying "He's perfect, he's so perfect!"

But.

Between having a nearly-10 pound baby, and receiving a jacked up epidural that only worked on HALF of my body? I can easily say that giving birth to him was the single most painful experience of my life. I told Husband it's a good thing that our first son's birth wasn't that painful or we would have stopped at one kid. 

Obviously Boo was worth all of the pain, but I cringe whenever I think about the experience of having him. And the idea of doing it again is enough to terrify me right into a hysterectomy appointment.

My mom and grandma told me that I am going to jinx myself if I say "no more kids", but from where I stand right now, it would take a miracle for me to change my mind. Plus, as much as I love our new house, I don't know where we would put a fourth kid. I don't even know if I could mentally keep track of four kids.

So, for the time being I am going to love and enjoy the three healthy babies I've got. Whether or not we ever have another child, I will consider myself to be incredibly blessed. Life is so good. These three sweet faces remind me of that every day.

Zebra needs to die.

     So, if you could kill any character in "Madagascar", who would it be?

     Easy. The zebra.

    Really? I think for me, it would have to be the giraffe.

    Oh, no way. I like the giraffe, he actually has some good lines. Plus, it's
    Ross from "Friends", you can't kill off Ross. It has to be the zebra.

For ages I tried in vain to get my children to sit through a full-length movie. I tried everything - "Cars", "Toy Story", all the favorites; nothing worked. And then one day I came across the "Madagascar" DVD in our house. I didn't even know we owned the movie, and I had never seen it myself. I wanted something to distract Bug for a few minutes, so I put it on. 

 90 minutes later, Bug was still watching the TV as the credits began rolling.

Did this just happen? Did he actually watch a full-length movie?! I couldn't believe it. And, even more shocking, when Binker came home from preschool later that day, I turned it on again and they BOTH watched it. All the way through!

The boys enjoyed the movie so much that they began requesting it on a daily basis, and I was happy to oblige. Sometimes they even wanted to watch it twice in a day. Normally I don't like to have my kids just sit in front of the TV, but between packing our house for the move and having a new baby to attend to, I decided to bend the rules a bit. It was awesome for me to be able to have something I could put on for them that would keep them busy for a good hour and a half. Plus, I had to admit that the movie was pretty cute, even funny in some parts. 

It was probably around the hundredth time they watched it, that I began to get a little bored with the same jokes. And by the thousandth time, I could pretty accurately recite the movie line for line along with the characters.

Now of the course, the children have watched it, oh I don't know, five hundredy jillion times. Husband and I have made every possible sarcastic joke to each other about the plot, lines, and characters. We tried humor at first to keep ourselves sane, however, even that doesn't work now. Which is what led to the conversation we had this morning over which character needs to die first.

Please. I am desperate. I need recommendations for movies that your kids like. Obviously mine are hard to please, as this has been the first and only movie to hold their attention, but I am open to any and all suggestions. 

My sanity is at stake here, people.

Introducing...

Baby Boo.

 

Born October 30th, at 9:43pm.

 

9 pounds, 13 ounces. 

21 inches long.

Perfect in every way.