This is Totally Random

I'm kind of paranoid when it comes to my front teeth.

I'm always afraid that they're going to be knocked out from one of my kids head-butting me, or from me clenching my teeth so hard at night, I even had to get a night guard. Yes, I look super hot when I go to bed...a little something like Tina Fey from "Date Night", if you know the scene I am referring to. 

All kinds of hotness.

Anyhow, my fear probably comes from the fact that my front teeth have been knocked out several times in the past.

It started with my baby teeth. My brother is actually responsible for both of those.

The first time, we were on a family vacation in Florida in the spring of 1989, and we were taking a boat ride. I was laying on one of the benches on the boat, and my brother was leaning over the front rail, trying to get a good look at the swamp below. The captain told him he needed to sit down. So like any normal person, he just backed up, without looking where he was going, and he sat down.

Right on my face.

Tim: 1, Front teeth: 0.

I cried and cried, but then we went to Disney World and I forgot all about it.

A few months later we were back home, and Tim and I went to the park one day with friends. We were throwing a football around. I don't think Tim really wanted his little sister hanging out with him and his buddies, so when I asked him to pass me the ball, he threw it a little too hard and it hit me right in the mouth.

Tim: 2, Front teeth: 0.

Only, that tooth didn't get completely knocked out.

I walked home, with my mouth bleeding, tooth hanging by a couple of nerves. My dad had to pull it out with pliers. I'm thinking I must have blacked out or something, because all I remember is him showing me the pliers, and then nothing after that.

So a few years went by and I had my fancy permanent teeth. It was the fall of 1993 and I was playing outside with my dog. The ground was wet and I was wearing Keds - not exactly known for their traction.  The bottoms of my shoes were wet and I didn't realize that I was literally walking into the perfect storm of slippery shoes meeting cement flooring.

I ran into our garage, and had only take a couple steps when I slipped and my face smacked against the cold, hard floor. I immediately knew something was wrong, and I was terrified. My mom made me open my mouth, and I could tell she was trying to control her reaction, so as not to upset me more. She later told me that she thought my teeth were irreparably damaged.

My two front teeth were broken, so that there was a gap that looked like a large, upside-down "V". It was brutal.

Thankfully, my dentist opened his office that Sunday evening, and was able to put fillers in, so that it looked like I had normal teeth again. I had those fillers until 2003, when I finally got veneers.

While my teeth look and feel real, I know that they are not as strong as actual teeth, and every time that I bump a glass against them, or Ryan knocks his head against my mouth, I think that they're going to break.

I try to be cautious. 

I avoid Gobstoppers and peanut brittle, and when I eat an apple I cut it into thin slices, rather than eating it whole, and I keep my dentist's number handy. I also remember as a kid hearing that if your tooth falls out you are supposed to hold it in place while drinking milk? Or something? I don't know, but I always make sure we have milk in the house too. Although, I'm not sure if the milk thing would work since my teeth are pretty much just tiny pieces of fine China.

Oh, and I don't let my brother get anywhere near me, with or without a football.