Bringing Home Baby

I celebrated the 20 week mark of my pregnancy this week. HOLLA! 

I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and afterward I was sitting in the lobby down by the front door waiting for my family to come pick me up. While I waited, I watched as a number of new parents left the hospital with their brand new babies. It was so fun to watch them as they headed home with their precious, teeny tiny bundles. I could see the looks of fatigue, and joy, and sheer terror on their faces.

I couldn't help but remember when I was in their shoes for the first time.

After I had Binker, we stayed at the hospital for two days, and then there was a delay in the paperwork, so we didn't get discharged from the hospital until around 8pm on a Friday night. I remember it felt so weird to have the usually busy hospital be so empty and quiet. Husband pulled our car right up to the front doors, and we loaded Binker, who was already in his car seat, into the car. Even though it was literally less than a three minute drive from the hospital to our house, I sat in the back with Binker, watching for any sign that something might be wrong.

All I remember is having a pit in my stomach, thinking there had to be some sort of mistake. They were actually letting US take this baby home?! No nurses? No doctors? No intercom to call someone for help when I was confused? I mean, shouldn't I be required to take some sort of course to be qualified as a parent? I was completely clueless when it came to babies, and as happy as I was to get us all home, into our own beds, and settle into life with a newborn, I was Scared. To. Death.

Eventually we found our way through the early trials of parenting, and when Bug was born, we felt much more ready to bring him home. Because of his prematurity, however, he had to stay in the hospital an additional five days. Had he been our first child, I would have gladly stayed at his bedside day and night, but since we had a 10 month old at home, I felt torn to be with both of my babies. After two days in the hospital I returned home to spend an evening with Binker. I will never forget that horrible feeling of walking away from the hospital with empty arms. Even though I knew Bug would be fine and that we would get to bring him home soon, I felt sick leaving him alone, (obviously he had nurses caring for him). I just felt in my bones that it was wrong to leave the labor and delivery department empty-handed. I was never so happy as the day we finally did get to bring our second son home for good.

Now I look forward to bringing home our third baby in approximately 20 weeks, (hopefully we can avoid any premature labor this time around). I can't wait to hold him for the first time, check out his features: does he have hair? Whose ears does he have? What color are his eyes? I can't wait to cover his little face in kisses, and cuddle him constantly. And then, when we get our clean bill of health, to bring him home to join his family of five.