Flying

I never used to be afraid of flying. I loved to travel, and I had a list of all the cities in the U.S. that I wanted to visit. I got an Alaska Airlines credit card about four years ago, so that I could rack up miles and then take short weekend trips to places I wanted to see. That was the plan, anyway.

And then I had kids.

Nowadays, my fear of flying only seems to get worse. Prior to having children, I always felt that, should my plane go down, then it must just be my time to go. I have so much more to lose now, though. And the thing that really bothers me, is not so much the fact that I will be dead, (although I do fear not being able to watch my children grow up), but the thought that my children won't have any tangible memories of me. While I'm sure family members would try to keep me alive for them in a sense, I would never be more real than people they read about in books; and I fear that they would never know how much I love them, if I am not here to tell them myself. These are the terrifying thoughts that cross my mind the entire time I am on a flight.

Luckily for me, the majority of the time that I do fly someplace now, I have my children with me. Traveling with children is a pretty big production, and attempting to keep them occupied and prevent them from going into total meltdown-toddler-drama-rama while in-flight is a great distraction for me. I am usually so busy trying to stay one step ahead of their short attention spans, that I don't have a chance to think about that fact that I am floating 39,000 feet above the earth's surface. The few times I have flown without them though, have been when I am going to visit Richard, and once I am with him, the trip seems worth it, even though I am white-knuckled for the whole flight.

In one week I am leaving for Nashville to attend a writer's conference. I am so excited for the opportunity to meet published writers, network with agents and editors, and learn more about writing and getting published. This is sure to be a positive experience for me. Add to that the fact that I have always wanted to visit Nashville, so I am very much looking forward to going into the city and seeing the sights.

As far as my flights are concerned though, I. Am. Terrified.

I am so afraid that as my fear builds over the next week, that by the time I board the plane, I will become that crazy chick who cries the whole way to Nashville, and all the strangers on my flight will be Facebooking and Tweeting about the emotional wreck they had to sit next to.

I was telling my mom about my new-found fear of flying, and she said the same thing happened to her once she had kids, but she went on to say that you just have to live your life and do the things that you love, despite any fears you may have. Since she's got almost thirty years more experience at this than I do, I asked her, hopefully, if it ever gets better.

Her response? No.

Awesome.

But I keep telling myself that writing is my passion, and aside from being with my husband and kids, it is the one thing that I love, have always loved, and want to pursue in this life. So, if there were ever a reason for me to get on a plane and face my fear, this is it. Sigh.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to get through a flight without weeping uncontrollably, or reaching for the air-sickness bag and/or multiple vodka sodas?