Five Months Old

Baby Boo turns five months old today. I can't believe how quickly the time is passing. He is such a sweet little love, always so happy, and easy-going. In the past few weeks he has come to love his Jumperoo, and adores sitting in his Bumbo Seat or high chair and watching his older brothers. Everything makes him smile, and he is easy to laugh. His hair has really grown, and I love the way I can spike it up in front. He has the sweetest disposition, and we just can't even imagine our lives without our precious third son.

3 Days old

1 month old

2 months old

3 months old

4 months old

5 months old

Something to Celebrate

Binker has been feverish and lethargic all week. He just wasn't getting any better, so last night my mom and I took him to the walk-in clinic in town. I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate taking Binker to the doctor's office; I try to avoid it at ALL costs. 

When you have a child with autism, you quickly learn the places and situations that can be upsetting for them, whether it causes anxiety, or, for some, can cause a sensory overload. Thankfully, Binker doesn't have a lot of sensory issues, and things such as trips to the grocery store, or loud, crowded, brightly-lit places are a non-issue for him. However, Binker has the most amazing memory, and when he has a bad experience someplace, he never forgets. This can pose a problem when we have to make repeat trips back to said place.

And, the doctor's office happens to be a place that causes major anxiety for him.

I blame his former pediatrician. Binker was never comfortable being poked and prodded, especially when sick, and I found the doctor to be impatient and irritated, he just didn't seem best suited as a pediatrician. Kids pick up on those kinds of things, too. They can tell when someone isn't being kind or patient with them. Worst of all, this doctor made Binker's ears bleed on two SEPARATE visits, while poking in his ears. Seriously? Maybe someone needs to go back to medical school. I just don't see how you repeatedly do this, and then still get mad when your patient (who is a toddler), starts screaming. So, after those visits, Binker, with good reason, was pretty much over the whole doctor thing.

The last straw for me was when this doctor first brought up the subject of autism with us, by holding up a questionnaire I had filled out about our son, and he had written a huge "FAIL" at the top in purple marker. I felt he showed no empathy or compassion. And I was done.

At the suggestion of a friend of mine, we changed to Dr. B, who is nearly an hour south of where we live. She has been an MD for about 25 years, but she took a decade off to study naturopathy. This makes her special, because she believes that dietary changes and supplements can have a positive effect on autism - which makes her incredibly rare among doctors today. Many doctors think parents who put their kids on the "autism diet" are literally crazy; our former pediatrician was of this thought process as well, (another reason I was happy to be rid of him). During Binker's first appointment with Dr. B she allotted us double the time of a normal appointment, without me even asking for it. She was incredibly kind and gentle with Binker. She was very understanding with me as a parent dealing with autism, and she answered all of my questions, and gave me suggestions of things we could do that had worked positively in some other children with autism. 

After sticking to a special diet and adding in supplements for four months, we went back for a check up with Dr. B. I was excited to tell her about how well Binker was doing, and all of the positive changes I had seen in him. She was thrilled for our family, and, best of all, Binker did awesome at the appointment. He sat patiently in his chair, let the doctor listen to his heart and lungs and look in his ears, and he even smiled for her a few times. It was clear that the doctor's office was no longer a frightening, anxiety-inducing place for him. In fact, for an entire week after that appointment, Binker kept saying, "I like Dr. B!" 

Nowadays, taking him to the doctor is nowhere near as overwhelming as it used to be. Binker even gets upset when I take Bug or Boo to the doctor and he doesn't get to go! 

So back to this week. I knew something was wrong when I couldn't get Binker's fever to subside, so we took him to the walk in clinic last night. I was a little nervous because he wasn't going to be seeing Dr. B, and, the walk in clinic we went to is where his old pediatrician works, so I was afraid, with his memory, that he might think he was going to see the old guy.

To my surprise, Binker waited patently in the waiting room, looking at the fish tank and just walking around checking things out. When it was our turn, he got a little anxious, but I gave him a musical toy to play with in the exam room, and that was a great distraction. When the on-call doctor came in, I almost prefaced the appointment by telling her he has autism, but I decided to keep my mouth shut, and just see how things went. I figured that if Binker wasn't cooperative with her then I could explain why. 

I didn't need to.

Binker let her listen to his chest, and look in his ears (and diagnose his ear infection), without much problem at all. Afterward she let him pick out a sticker, he chose a green dinosaur. I felt elated as we walked out of the doctor's office. This is a huge step for him, just one of many that he has made. He has come such a long way in overcoming his doctor anxiety, and I am so proud of him. 

Bug is THREE!

It's official: I have two 3-year olds. For the next 51 days at least.

My sweet blue-eyed middle son is now three. When did that happen?! Bug, for his part, was ecstatic about his birthday this year. He ate up the attention, the balloons, the birthday cake, the partying, and, of course, the presents. 

Yay, balloons!

Mobigo!

Space shuttle toy

Teeball toy for back yard

Blowing out his candle

"Mommy, clean my fingers!"

Yummy!

Playing with his presents

Tandem tricycle!

Taking it for a spin out front

Birthday sundae at Red Robin

Happy birthday, sweet Bug! We love you to the moon and back.

Four Months!

Baby Boo is four months old, closing in on 18 pounds, trying so hard to sit up, and happy as ever. 

It's Confirmed

On Tuesday of this week we returned to Seattle Children's Autism Center to meet with a neurologist. He went over the report that was done on Jacob last month, then asked me some more questions. After that, he spoke with Binker for maybe fifteen minutes, having him point to different parts of his body, and give him a high five. Then he tried to get Binker to complete phrases. For example, the neurologist would say, "If fire is hot, then ice is ___", and he would wait for Binker to answer. That was the only part of the interaction that our son really struggled with.

Then the doctor addressed me again. "So today's appointment is the confirmation of diagnosis, and that's what we're doing here. It's confirmed."

And there it was. Two simple words. 

13 months of worrying, and wondering, all led up to that moment. It was surprisingly anticlimactic.

Just as surprisingly, I took it well. Maybe because it was what we had been assuming for so long, so in a way, it was just nice to finally know, for sure. Now, we can truly move forward. The good news is that we're already on the right path, getting Binker the services and therapies he needs. The neurologist said he doesn't believe that Binker requires occupational therapy, but he said we may want to do it, just so that he has yet another opportunity to engage with another person, since his social skills are well below where they should be. The doctor wants to see Binker back in six to nine months, and I feel very motivated to work with him as much as we can, so that they will hopefully be impressed by his improvement at our next appointment.

At one point I asked the doctor is he could be more specific about where Binker is on the spectrum, but he said that since our son is still young, he prefers not to do that since many kids can move up on the spectrum, and some even outgrow their diagnosis altogether.

One last thing we're going to do is have genetic testing done on Binker. The doctor told us that autism can be the result of many things, such as a brain injury, a genetic syndrome, or simply being born with it, (and there are many theories as to what causes that). During the genetic testing, a sample of Binker's blood will be taken and compared to a bunch of known syndromes in the human genome (if this isn't totally correct, I apologize. There was a lot of doctor-speak going on, and I tried my best to keep up). One benefit of this test, is that if it turns out that Binker does have some genetic syndrome, then we would know for future family planning the odds of another child being born with it (oops, too late for that), but also, we would be able to save his doctors some steps, by telling them he has XYZ Syndrome, and then they would know what to expect of Binker. Then again, it may come back that he has no syndrome at all. I have my personal beliefs of what caused his autism, but that can be a controversial subject for some, so I will keep my opinion to myself for now. Regardless, I am interested to see what the genetic test results will say. 

Oh, and apparently as part of the genetic testing, they are able to tell whether or not Husband and I are closely related. I nearly laughed out loud when the neurologist mentioned that part. I mean, how awkward would that be to find out your husband is, like, your fifth cousin? I'm not expecting any surprises like that though.

So, there it is. Binker officially has autism. And life - sometimes sorrowful, but oftentimes sweet - goes on.

Still Here

We're still here.

Life's been crazy as ever these past few weeks, and we've been dealing with a lot of changes, some awesome, some challenging, but we're here, and we're getting through it.

Next Tuesday we will go back to Children's Hospital, to hopefully get the diagnosis we've been seeking for Binker, and we can close that chapter, which I am very anxious to do. In other Binker news, he has been doing a lot more spontaneous speaking lately, which is more exciting than I can truly express. Having him say what's on his mind, and talk about things he sees, or what people are doing, or where things are - these are HUGE steps for him, and it really encourages me that he will continue to build upon this. 

Another thing I am excited about, is that I got a phone number for a hair stylist who works with special needs kids. Binker HATES haircuts. They give him major anxiety, and it is not a fun experience for anyone involved. Because of this, I stopped taking him to actual barber shops a long time ago, and have been giving him haircuts myself. To my great disappointment, I have no natural haircutting skills, and last night was probably my worst one ever. Binker has a bald spot on one part of his head. I sent him to preschool today wearing a hat, along with a note to his teacher asking if she knew anyone who might be able to help me, and to my great joy she did! Now we have a name and phone number, and I am so thrilled I will never be forced to butcher my son's hair again.

Today is an exciting day for our whole family, as Husband will be returning home after five weeks away at school for his new job in the Navy. We have missed him so much, and are beyond happy to have him return to us. I am so proud of all of his hard work, and all that he has accomplished. It has not been easy with him being gone. I am reminded, more than ever, that he is my rock, and my best friend. I am so ready to have him home again.

Bug is talking so much now. It is really fun to have "conversations" with him. I love knowing what's going on in that sweet little head of his. At the same time, it can be bittersweet, because I see how much Bug is talking, and can't help but wonder how much more Binker would be talking, since he is older. But I know there is no use in dwelling on that, so I try not to. I know that Binker is doing great, and he is so bright, and his brain just works differently, and that's okay.

Baby Boo is growing like crazy, and getting cuter every day. He rolled over from tummy to back a couple weeks ago, and he is thisclose to rolling from back to tummy. He keeps trying to sit up on his own, and in only a couple weeks we can begin giving him solid food! Time is just going way too fast with my sweet little babe.

All in all, we are doing great and are staying busy. Hopefully in the weeks to come I will find more time to sit down and write more detailed blogs, but this is it for now. Happy Friday!

Brotherly Love

Four days a week, while Binker is at preschool, it's just me, Bug, and Boo at home. 

Bug was a little standoff-ish when we first brought Boo home from the hospital, not quite sure to make of this tiny, noisy creature. 

The face of uncertainty.

But, over the past few months, Bug has warmed up to baby a bit. He still finds him curious, but he likes to bring him his pacifiers and blankets, and he enjoys helping me give the baby his bottle. 

Boo, on the other hand, full-on adores his big brothers. Sure, he smiles for me, but when Binker or Bug come into the room he lights up, and follows them with his eyes, mesmerized. I love watching him watch his brothers. I know that as soon as he is able, he will be following them everywhere.

I took this photo this morning. 

Bug was so cute, snuggling up close to his little brother. I tell him all the time, that Boo was a gift to him, and as a big brother it's his job to take care of him, and be nice to Boo. 

And it's pretty obvious, from the expression on Boo's face, how he was feeling. I know that in the years to come there will be arguments, and fights, and hurt feelings, but I also know that there will be a deep bond between my boys. Brotherly love.