Know

I was sitting in my kindergarten class. 

Most of the moms were visiting that day. Our teacher was reading the book, Love You Forever.

The lines repeated throughout the book are, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

I looked around, and all of the moms had tears running down their faces, kleenexes bunched in their fingers. My mom was no different. I looked at her blankly.  

Why was she crying? Why were any of them crying? 

Moms could be funny, and I didn't get it.

I've always been close with my parents, we have a great relationship. They told me often that they loved me, no matter what. But I didn't really get it until 4:07am on the morning of April 24th, 2008 when my first son, Jacob, came into the world.

In that moment, I understood the love my parents had always professed for my brother and me. In that moment, I came to know absolute, pure, unconditional love.

Sometimes at night I pick my children up out of their cribs and rock them in my arms. I hold them close and I feel almost suffocated by all the things I want to tell them.

That I love them in a way that no language can express. 

That I would die for them without a moment's hesitation. 

That I pray they never have to suffer any pain in their lives.

Growing up, when I did something wrong, I would be afraid to tell my parents. I'd imagine the worst possible reaction they could have, and it usually included them writing me off or disowning me.

Because I didn't get it.

If I could have known the depth of their love for me then, I don't think I would have been fearful in sharing my misdeeds with them. (Well, not as fearful anyway, because I still got punished).

As a parent, I want my children to know that I love them no matter what. It doesn't matter what they do, or what they say, or what they think. I will continue to love them. It is beyond my control, and I couldn't stop loving them if I wanted to.

And yet, I doubt they will get it either. 

Until the day comes when they hold their own firstborn child in their arms and they fall desperately in love with that perfect, precious baby.

Then they will finally know.

Mama in the Moon: International Sensation

So one cool thing about this blogging site, is that I can see where in the world my readers (you know, all six of them), live. Obviously, the majority are in the U.S. (hi, Mom). But since I started this blog, I have had readers from The Netherlands, Denmark, the U.K., Germany, Belgium, South Africa, Russia, Honduras, Italy and Canada. So to all of you I want to hi! Thanks for reading this little blog here. 

Who knew I would one day become an international sensation, right?

I mean, my parents must be so excited to get this news. Before, when talking about their kids they were probably like, "Our son is so brilliant! He is a commercial pilot and he flies all over the country, and do you know how smart you have to be to get a job like that? He is just our pride and joy. Oh, and we have a daughter. She stays at home and writes a blob? Or blog? Something that she claims makes use of those very expensive college skills, which we are still paying for."

But NOW:

"Oh we have a son, he flies planes and stuff. But our daughter! Wow, she is an international sensation. She is a published internet writer! People all around the world read her blog, and she is the funniest! We are so proud of her. Seriously, she is like right up there with all those A-List celebrities, like, everyone knows her name".

You're welcome, mom and dad.

Anyhow, so I just wanted to give a shout-out to my international community! Say hello sometime, I would love to hear what's going on in your part of the planet. 

Even you, Canada.