Best Friend.

Since Jacob's autism diagnosis, he has made amazing progress in several areas. However, when it comes to playing with others, Jacob still has a ways to go. He rarely interacts with other kids, including his brother and cousin, M, who is around quite often. He will play around them, and talk about them, but does not very often actually play with them. This is called solitary play, and is something that a lot of children with autism struggle with. Being his mom, this concerns me a great deal, because I obviously want him to have friends as he gets older and into grade school. Just the thought of him being lonely, or feeling like an outsider absolutely crushes me. We still have time before he will be in kindergarten, and I hope he will become better at engaging with other kids by that time.

We didn't plan on our first two children being 10 months apart, but obviously we weren't doing much to prevent it. Although in my defense, I didn't think my husband and I were going to be anywhere near each other. We were using that good old-fashioned birth control method known as the U.S. Navy.

I know that many people thought, and some probably still do think, that we're crazy for having kids so close together. I used to wonder sometimes, myself, at the timing of it all, and just figured that God has a purpose for Ryan and he was supposed to be born.

When everything happened with Jacob last year, I found myself feeling extra thankful for Ryan, and the fact that he is so close in age to Jacob. He is Jacob's built-in best friend. He absolutely adores his big brother. He constantly follows him around, and wants to be doing whatever Jacob is doing. His first question every morning is, "Where's Jacob?", and he asks me this several times during the three hours that Jacob is at preschool every day. In our car, Ryan sits in the middle seats, and Jacob is in the backseat. Ryan always turns his head around as far as he can to look behind him, and yell "Jacob! Oh, Jacob!" He loves to give Jacob hugs, and when Jacob tries to get away from him, he laughs and thinks it is a big game. I am grateful that Jacob has this built-in best friend, who will always be there, right behind him, and who will always love him. I also secretly hope that if anyone dares to be unkind to Jacob in school, that Ryan will be right there to defend his older brother. 

I don't feel uncomfortable anymore when people ask me how far apart they are in age. Regardless of what anyone thinks, I know that Ryan was destined to be born, he was part of God's plan. He knew that Jacob would need a buddy to stick by him, through the good and bad times. I still hope and pray that Jacob will improve at his social skills, and that as he gets older, he will have more friends than he can count.

But I feel comfort in knowing that Ryan will always be there for him.